Song for a one night stand

This is the song for He Who Said I Was Hot.
It couldn't be for a relationship...it's painful for the one who loves.
I've been listening to PP Arnold's version, it's the one I have, it's so raw, so powerful and it's the lyrics I've copied for you. The song was written by a man, Chip Taylor.
I like this video though because it's not clear who the angel is because it could be either the man or the woman, depending on your experience.

This is Juice Newton's version



There'll be no strings to bind your hands
Not if my love can't bind your heart
and there's no need to take a stand
For it was I who chose a start
I see no need to take me home
I'm old enough to face the dawn

Just call me angel of the morning angel
Just touch my cheek before you leave me baby
Just call me angel of the morning angel
Then slowly turn away from me

Maybe the sun's light will be dim
And it won't matter anyhow
If morning's echoes say we've sinned
Well it was what I wanted now
And if we're victims of the night
I won't be blinded by the light
Just call me angel of the morning angel
Just touch my cheek before you leave me baby
Just call me angel of the morning angel
Then slowly turn away
I won't beg you to stay
with me
Through the tears of the day, of the years
baby baby baby

Just call me angel of the morning angel
Just touch my cheek before you leave me baby
Just call me angel of the morning angel
Just touch my cheek before you leave me darling
Just call me angel of the morning baby
Just touch my cheek before you leave me darling

I've been playing this song all week while I write this label. Every morning, track 15 on my 'Feeling Good cd'
It has been better to think about sex than, well, most things actually!
It is better to think about love than it is about fear.

I had a really good experience with my one night stand, he had a good one with me and I hope you have a good one with yours.

Thanks PP Arnold.

Struggles..the light on the dark side of you...

If I had time, I'd mess up the lyrics, a line that came from this Seal song, yesterday morning.
I have to blog dark feelings. It's not healthy to dwell on dark feelings, I have discovered. And it's certainly not easy writing this label.
I have to hold on to the light side of me
or I might drown in my cauldron of fire

You are the light on the dark side of yourself

Stigmum is my power, my pleasure, my pain
Or me, I am my power, my pleaure, my pain
I can't actually tell us apart
We are Bat Girl
No, we are Bat Mum
No, we are who we are

Enjoy the vid!

Oh, I'd just like to add, at no point did I think of this track in relation to my One Night. It popped into my head when I thought about blogging. I mentioned it To the Estimator yesterday saying I had to write my dark side and mentioned this song. He was not impressed to say the least and I felt myself slip in his estimation, but given that I'm not that high in it, I didn't fall that far ha ha boom boom!

BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If I had a sledgehammer

This is the song from Peter Paul and Mary that I posted on facebook the night before yesterday's Lobby. I'd told my facebook friends that a long long time ago, I'd been booed off the stage singing Janis Joplin at a Canary Island karaoke night much to the embarrassment of my super yacht colleagues but had got up again and sung this and a woman from the audience got up and sang with me and we got a really big round of applause!

It's been a tough couple of days joining the lobby front but I'm glad I have joined them. A tough couple of days fighting the welfare reform bill against government rhetoric dividing the poorest sections of our society. The working poor against the welfare poor and the working poor are falling for it. Hook, line and sinker.

Who knew multi millionaires could be so clever?

Fisherwoman's Friends

It was too much, too much yesterday, thinking about welfare reforms, my life, where I am. I needed something, something...a drink...Janis Joplin...so I got beer from the fridge and turned the music up really loud then went to get my son at Kung Fu.
Saw The Estimator, who was picking up his son, and told him I'd been having a little party at my house, celebrating my life and he said, laughing, be careful, he could smell it on my breath and offered me a Fisherman's Friend.

Later, I cracked open more beers..the supermarket's got some well cheap deals on at the moment! Oh they know how we're feeling!

Then I went off and got drunk, on Facebook of all places, but as it happened, the best place to be. My friend Jo was there, "swigging" the same as me, so we "clinked" our bottles! Kelly was there, saying she watches Celebrity Big Brother too and lots of my friends, like me, liked Janis
So here you are, as I prepare to go lobbying again this afternoon...

Freedom's just another word...

We are INVINCIBLE

Men feeling particularly low can/should also sing along to this great '70's number which acknowledges and celebrates all of us women! Sing 'A man' and let it celebrate you too!

RIP to all of those who have taken their lives recently.

Old ghosts

If I had more than two tapes in the bedroom on the corridor at the Shit School I really shouldn't call a Shit School anymore, (later I was moved to the stairwell) then I can't remember.
On facebook I posted Bat out of Hell but I think I've referenced that song on here, to do with housing.
A great album that Meatloaf album. Some great tracks. Stiggers picked this one for you today. I used to cry out loud to it:

I ain't afraid of no ghosts...says trembling me

The spectre of that Shit School is looming large. Body is trembling, knees may buckle, heart is beating so fast I have to breath hard to steady it...
but hey, it was long ago, long ago. The wicked priest is dead, the evil prison marshalls gone... haven't they? And, most curious of any reunion I've ever been to in my life, I don't know who's going, just the friends who aren't (If the Foca's there I think I'll drop down dead but he won't be.. he won't be will he.. just the shadow of a memory in that great corridor where I was told I couldn't go into the church because God didn't want me there.)

I've got to keep calm and keep telling myself...It's all in the past and I ain't afraid of no ghosts! I'm brave me, brave...and it's costing me a fecking fortune just to get to the place so it better be worth it!

Sitting down with James

I've been listening to this track alot and find it very comforting. Because I do not want sympathy, nor do benefit claimants, nor do occupylondon protesters, just understanding, Stiggers replaces that with a cuppa tea. Bless me little stiggers, she knows I'm weary

Music is the food of Love

For anyone going through any type of spiritual 'crisis', 'emergency', or simple spiritual growth, I can't recommend music highly enough to see you through it.

I find myself listening to Classic Fm, Magic and Heart at the moment.

Whatever floats your boat, they say

Enjoy the ride, try not to be afraid

Depeche Toi..

I phoned Shit School on Friday afternoon, ostensibly to ask if when I come for the Feast Day, that they will allow me to go back up to the girls' living quarters. Ya know, remember the child I was and let her go.

I didn't get that far.

I asked to speak to the Head Teacher but spoke to his secretary instead, which was cool(very).

"You would have been sent a letter inviting you," the woman said on the phone.
"No, I'm not an alumni. When I left that place I really left. I found out about this on facebook."
"Oh, word of mouth then?"
"Kind of, some people are talking about a reunion on facebook. I don't really know too much about it."

The long and the short of it is I might not be able to go.
"The chapel is very small," she said
God doesn't want you there
"I know, I just think it would be very special."
"Yes, I'll find out for you and call you back. Are you on this number I see on my handset..1234567891011"
"Yes. Thanks."

She didn't call me back.
I will call her tomorrow.

Don't know if I'll join the lunch though, if there are tickets left. AAARGH.

I've been crying all morning for flips sake, tears chasing off the shadows I've allowed to lurk around my soul.

I've got Classic Fm playing in my bedroom.

Good job it's Sunday ey?

I may go and have a bath

Reach out and touch me

From a friend

Evelyn Evelyn "Have You Seen My Sister Evelyn" Music Video from Amanda Palmer on Vimeo.

Remember you are BEAUTIFUL

Coming Home - at last?

Confession time...

I used to love Carole King. I've always loved Carole King but in Japan this guy called Jim said "Oh my god you like her?" and I fancied Jim so I stopped listening to my tapes and never mentioned her name again.

A statutorily homeless person about to embark on a Shit School reunion is going to have old memories surface.

Mine is that a few years before Japan and Jim I used to defend my choices. I didn't give a shit if people didn't like the same music as me (Abba and Meatloaf!)

I lost myself at Shit School. As clear as the sky is grey today, that is what happened. Me and myself separated and we've had trouble getting back together ever since.

I wish I'd known earlier

I did!

Oh well, I know properly now!

I should be embarrassed, shouldn't I?

Nah!

I actually found this song yesterday as I was trawling through the net looking for songs that I could tweet the housing minister with.

I'm not sure I'll tweet him with them. Maybe. Maybe not. Shall I?

Here's the link though, there are great songs on it, just chill and listen, aaah:

http://bitchmagazine.org/post/bitchtapes-songs-about-home

Tom Jones at Kenwood

OK, there's probably a fab line up over at Glastonbury but Tom Jones is playing Kenwood this evening.

How I'd LOVE to go to that!!!!

Can't though, but ne'er mind, thought I'd post you a vid, of him singing Delilah a, erm, while ago!
Delilah used to be one of my karaoke favourites when I worked in the hostess bar in Japan!

Is Stigmum called Delilah? I thought Sue de Nim but perhaps not!

My my my, my Stigmum!
Why why why, my Stigmum!
I could see that girl was no good for me
but I was lost like a slave that no man/no state/ no one could free
Oh...

We'll be back Stigs and I after the weekend. I'm not ready to kill her off, or myself off come to that!

Anyway, check out his moves and for all of you at Kenwood tonight, have a blast!!

The Revolution will be live

RIP Gil Scott-Heron, the "Godfather of Hip-Hop" who died yesterday aged 62.

I'm going to take a break from blogging. I haven't figured out what I'm going to say to Dobbie and I need to get it all straight in my head.

I was going to stop being Stigmum's conduit forever today.

I was going to stop blogging. That was my plan. In my head.

Quite fitting, if I can't go out on a happy ending, I go out on a protest!

This was never the song I was going to end it on though, so I guess I've got to come back!

Happy Bank Holiday all and happy half term to the kiddies, especially mine, who's in Barcelona right now as the city plays football against Manchester United at Wembley, London.

I love you my son my sun and remember, I said I was in your heart so not far if you need me, and you are in mine, a comfort when I miss you x

I have joined Twitter!

At last you might say!!

On the recommendation of fellow blogger Frankie P, Stiggers has joined the realm of Twitter!

I've been thinking about it for a long time then wondering if I should do it if I am indeed planning to stop blogging! Maybe I'm doing it because I'm planning to stop blogging. Who knows. I love blogging. I don't want to stop. I just think perhaps I should.

Yes, so while the world perhaps tires of twitter (I heard that somewhere), I have finally joined!!

Problem of course, is that I am Stigger's conduit and I am a luddite. She can't get up and running until I sort her out.

Second problem is that I can't invite any of my friends because all of my friends know I'm a stigmum but none of my friends know I am Stigmum. None of my friends know I write a blog. Hmmmm

Third problem, which isn't a problem I guess, is that I've a crappy phone, not a snazzy blackberry or anything jazzy like that.

Still, I've arrived! As soon as I figure out badges and widgets or whatever and the like, I'll put it on here!

I'd like to say thank you to Frankie P for the spur. Friday 13th not so unlucky, blogspot going down yesterday not so unlucky either, for I met her over at the Brit Mums forum having a soap box rant (which you know I love!)

Also Friday 13th Luck - I made no plans this weekend, none. Was all looking a bit lonesome but I wasn't thinking about that because I might feel blue.

Then, out of the blue, my old work colleague I've not seen since my birthday party last year, texts and invites me to a Eurovision Song Contest party he and his wife are having tonight!!!

Go Blue!

Do Blue, the band Blue, the band Blue representing the UK have a chance?! Will they sweep the boards?!



I'd join the Eurovision tweeting but I don't know how, I'd tweet but I don't have a phone that can take the application, I'd tweet but I'll be busy having fun. Oh hurrah!

Anyway, best go! I'm @stigmum (I think that's what you say isn't it?)

See, luddite! Maybe see you on there!

Have a good weekend x

(oh and this is my 101th post under the label 'blog'!!- room 101? This post belongs in a different label? Stiggers isn't going into room 101, not if I don't want her to!)

Sugar Sugar...!

I have given up crisps and biscuits for Lent and you know, it's going really well! Yeah, I get the odd craving for Mini Cheddars, Squares, regular Cheese and Onion but I let the feeling pass!

Yes, I let the feeling pass

into

Cake.
Exceedingly moorish ones where after the first two I can't taste the flavour anymore so why do I pop the other four into my mouth in speedy succession
Doughnuts
Oozy jam ones. I buy two, one for me and one for my son but eat mine on the quiet then eat his telling him I bought him crisps instead (which I gaze at lovingly now he likes my favourite flavours)
Tangfastics
Oh that feeling when you eat and eat and can't stop and your heart is beating mad mad madly and your brow begins to sweat... oh yeah

I'm not comfort eating, apparently. According to James Duigan (Elle Super Model Super Bod Macpherson's personal trainer don't you know!) I am stress eating.
Do you stress eat? Fun isn't it! Perhaps not... Perhaps so! Perhaps not...

James has a Clean & Lean Diet that incorporates an 8 minute workout. I've never gone on a diet, diets have just gone on me (the High Stress one, not bad if you want to drop a dress size...)

James says if you don't think you can stay off alcohol for two weeks the book's not for you... oh

Al Cohol... Budvar! Sugar sugar! Al Cohol.. My candy boy!
Chewy sweets OH...



Oh Nico Teen, I am so over you

but my Cream jeans don't fit anymore...

Hug a Real Tree

Back forth
Back forth
Back forth
to the tree

The Oak that
takes my weight
cradles me
in its embrace

Its roots centred
to the deep earth
just like mine

Don't fall over

Hug the tree
Ear to its soul
say 'thank you'

Thank you oh mighty Oak

(Scribbled in notebook on heath this morning, emptying mind some more after Tuesday night's suicide dream. By coincidence, REM's Everybody Hurts has been playing on a compilation cd of mine whilst I've been transposing this

Hold on
Hold on
Hold on

My message to you too

What we should all tell ourselves

What we should all tell ourselves, particularly when we feel like utter shite.
What we should all tell ourselves, particularly when we've succeeded at something.
It was on my mate Charlie's ipod that time we were coming back from Scotland and he let me share his earphones.
I tend to listen to it when my back's against the ropes and I'm in need of hope
Girls, replace King for Queen, She for He. You're not stupid, you'll get it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TjMsSHWUnP4

Preparing the boy for no TV!

The new place doesn't have cable. I called Virgin to tell them I was moving and got the news.
They'll have to deliver their services over a BT line.
Should I just change providcr? Get a bundle from BT?
If the place was permanent I might, if ultimately it kept my costs down.
I'm staying with who I've got though, it's easier. The woman on the phone even said she'd talk to her manager to waive my connection fee after I said I was being evicted.
What do I do about a tv though? Isn't it all going digital? I just have a tiny portable from the last millenium, will I be able to get a picture if I just plug it in? Have those days gone?
Gosh, it's all so unknown.
The woman connected me to a guy who tried to sell me some kind of sky package with 6 months free rental. I found it all rather confusing and well, sounded pretty expensive.
It's all going to be expensive though isn't it?
They said if I get a freeview box I "won't get so many channels" (I don't care but my son might...) but that I also needed a good aerial on the roof (I didn't look)
I'm all for simplifying my life at the moment, so when my son comes back from school I'll tell him we won't have access to any tv programmes in our new flat. No TV! No more! Back to basics!
I imagine he won't take the news very well....
We won't have access to anything for a while because Virgin can't connect us until the end of the month.
Thank God I've got a stereo, that's all that remains to be said (apart from saying I'll miss you blogspot).