Big Issue and Big issues

Meeting John Bird made me think. Has made me think alot but I don't have time for all of it today. The big thing it made me think of though is this:
Years and years ago John Bird wished to help homeless people get work
I am a little different in that I want to get homeless people a home.

I became very conscious this weekend, that I have all the qualifications to be a Big Issue Vendor.
I am statutorily homeless. I am on state benefits.

Sorry reader but I find that so depressing. I can't do that job. I don't think I could stand out there day after day, rain, shine, snow, blizzard at risk of being mugged for my takings, spat at, kicked at, jeered and leered at.

I think I've known that since the early 90's when I asked the Big Issue for work experience on their magazine.

It takes a very special person to do the job these vendors are doing.

I've said I couldn't do it. Could you?

I might do the sponsored Sleep Out

On Friday night I saw again one of the Wondergirls, the troupe I finished the sponsored walk with a couple of years ago.

"Sue!" She came up to me as I was standing with my son and others.
"How are you?!"
"How are you?!" You know how it is...!

"Who is she mamma?" asked my son.
"The girl I told you we might bump into, who I met on my Big Issue walk.!"
"Are you going to do the Sleep Out?" she asked me.
"I thought about it but I have my son on the night it's on."
"No it's changed! It's in May now! Do it with us, do it with us, I'm getting the troops together!"

You know what reader, I just might!

"I was invited!!" - Big Issue's 20th Birthday Party

It was an extraordinary set of events on Friday night, well for me anyway! I told my son we were going to a special viewing of Hard Times, a series of portraits of Big Issue vendors, for the Big Issue's 20th birthday.

As we walked down the winding stairs of St Martin's in the Field, I saw, I saw with mine eyes, the founder of the Big Issue, John Bird. I couldn't quite believe it! He was standing there with the man I'd met campaigning for the Tories and two others I didn't know.

I whispered to my son: "That's the man who started all this"
"Which one mummy?"
"Hey I hope you don't mind but I'm going to see if I can talk to him quickly!"

Gosh I don't think you know reader my history with this man! I don't think he knew my history with him either!

The man who I'd met campaigning for the Tories suddenly said: "That's the woman I told you about who I met when I was campaigning last year!"

Mr Bird turned to me. "Hello," I might have said. Maybe I said "Hi"..no matter. "Hello Mr Bird, my name is Sue and I've been stalking you since 2005!"

He stood back, as well as he might stand back so I continued: "First I sent you a letter asking you if you'd help me publish my book that will never be published then I emailed asking if you could find me a lawyer and then I emailed again asking if you'd er, simply meet me and your secretary invited me to an art show you were exhibiting your work in so I took my son..."

He looked down at my son, as the recognition dawned of something I was talking about (!): "They were pictures of naked women!"
"Yes! But that's not what my son remembered!"

Oh t'was a blast the evening reader. Did you know Simon Callow of Four Weddings and a Funeral fame is a patron of the Big Issue? No, I didn't either. I was way too star struck to even say 'I admire your work' when I passed him, but it seems he and my son had good fun smiling at one another during the speeches (My son, had wangled our way through the packed room, from the drinks at the back, to the speeches at the front)

Paul Wenham Clarke took the stunning prints portraying Big Issue vendors in their 'homes' be that a car, a caravan, a squat, a hostel, and testimonials of how they got where they did. In some cases you know what happens to the inviduals, in others you don't. He said it had felt like a cliche working with homeless people but that instead it really opened his eyes to how extraordinary these people are. It really is brilliant, go if you get the chance.

It runs until the end of June.

I'll tell you what else was very very cool. When I was chatting to the man who I met campaigning he asked me why I was there. How did I hear about it? Did I just come down off the street?

"No," I said, the relief whooshing through me that I wasn't a stalker, "I was invited!"

Champagne and Canapes

My son and I have been invited to a private viewing and a drinks reception to celebrate The Big Issue's 20th birthday!

It is so exciting, for both of us!

My son is going to see a Hard Times photography exhibition; portraits of Big Issue vendors. I can tell him that these are the people to whom his money went when he sponsored me on my walk!

For me it will instil further what my heart holds (whatever that is!). No-one will know that my son and I are statutorily homeless. We are supremely lucky that we avoided hostel accommodation for a third time last autumn.

When I call for more homes, it's not just for me.
When I call for free teeth cleaning that's not just for me either!

Big Issue vendors are working people.

The Big Issue foundation gives homeless people the helping hand they need.

It's a real privilige to be able to go tonight. It's brilliant I can take my son. It's a new moon tomorrow too - "A New Moon represents a new beginning. The end of an old era. The birth of a fresh age"! says Cainer.

Who Knows?! Just wonderfully timely!

A Big Sleep

I've had a letter through the post inviting me to take part in the Big Issue's first ever Big Sleep Out.

It looks really interesting. They need 240 people to camp out in Spitalfields Market on March 18th to raise funds for their vendors and other homeless individuals who find support from this charity.

I'm not sure I'm going to do it nor am I sure that I can. I really enjoyed the Big Night Walk but after that told myself that the next time I did something like that, I wouldn't do it on my own.

I'm really good at doing things on my own, brilliant in fact but I've done it too much and need to start getting involved with groups now.

Get involved in groups or make new friends!

I've also got my son with me that weekend and I don't know how he'd feel about staying out all night (I've just checked, participants have to be over 18. There were quite a few kids on the Big Walk, but this is is very different I guess - they are promising entertainment!).

If you like the sound of it you can read more either at
http://www.bigsleepout.com/ or www.bigissue.com/sleep

It's still £30 to take part but target sponsorship's gone up to £400!!

There's a challenge if you want one and all for a good cause!

Weekend coincidences

Subject: You, me and John Bird

Hi [Network Founder],

I usually ask people if it's ok to call them by their first name but I didn't even look at yours as I stuffed your business card in my pocket thinking 'must think about this one' when I met you on Saturday in Kentish Town.

I let go of ever meeting John Bird last year which didn't stop me inwardly cringeing when I saw a charity walk in the Big Issue magazine, thinking he might think I was trying to curry favour with him if I did it. Fortunately I soon got over myself and had a great night!

You saying you had lunch with him on Friday and offering to arrange another including me was, well, quite unexpected to say the least.

I told you I wasn't sure I had anything to say or ask him anymore but I could be wrong.

I would welcome to have lunch with you both if you both agree.

Let me know (as I listen to Rod Steward's "Sailing", free with the (e)Mail on Sunday this morning!) One must follow coincidences now and then for you never know what positive things might come out of them.

Kind regards,

Sue de Nim

Political parties were out in force Saturday morning canvassing for a by-election in a couple of weeks time.

As I walked over to the Tory table for some bumph I said: "I am totally opposed to your party!"

Quite extraordinary what can come out of saying something like that.....

Network Founder asked me what I thought of the coalition and I said "I don't know."

I Don't Know?

You get the email I sent because I just can't tell a story any more...I'n't that right Doris?

Response from the Libdem and Tory camps!

Yesterday I received an email from the Libdemleader and CAMERON, David apologising for the delay in responding to me regarding the Big Issue Walk but they get volumes of emails every day.

What a lovely surprise!

The Libdem man and the Tory woman said unfortunately the Leaders were already connected to many charities and were unable to sponsor me. No surprise!

I emailed back, as I did with the CEO respondees and asked them to ask their Leaders if they could donate 10p to each individual who walked, which would only come to £25 which was less than what I paid to do the walk myself!

I could not resist, oh I could not resist, asking them to ask their Leaders if they would agree to meet me.

My son, my sun, my son, my sun, my son.....

What more can I do? I asked of the Libdem Leader.
What will you do with our lives? I asked of the Tory Leader.

I sent that just now. Drafted it last night but thought I would sleep on it. I didn't change anything.

The Labour camp hasn't responded yet.

On the back of the emails, the Libdems would get my vote for they said they were "saddened" by my experience and the party recognises "the importance of boosting social housing" (why are you auctioning them off then?) However my vote won't be decided on the back of an email. My vote will be decided if mine and my son's housing is resolved.

Who knows my readers if they will respond, if they will honour my requests.
Who knows! You might one day...Que sera sera....!

Emails to the Party Leaders

These are the two emails I sent to the Leaders asking for sponsorship:

(Sent 16th November 2009 entitled: Mr Brown, Mr Cameron, Mr Clegg, you can all help)

Dear Mr Brown, Mr Cameron and Mr Clegg (If you could forward this to the Prime Minister Ms Harman, I would be very grateful),

This Friday evening, 20th November, while you are sleeping in a comfy bed, I shall be walking 18 miles at night on behalf of the Big Issue Foundation. The weather may be treacherous, but this is the point; thousands of street homeless have to endure that every single night for homelessness, as you know, is not a daytime nor a seasonal occupation.

The Big Issue Foundation does much to help people in these situations, giving them support with health, accommodation and employment issues. They do an outstanding job, but the homeless problem is getting worse, which is where I step in (forgive the pun).

I'll be honest, I am doing this partly for personal reasons. My son and I have been handed notice on our temporary accommodation. We have been on the homeless register for four years and continue to bid unsuccessfully.

The problem in Camden is acute. There are over 2000 families awaiting secure, affordable accommodation. There are 18,000 on the waiting list. There is an untold number of people living on the streets. The Local Authority response to this is to auction off existing council stock, including a home my son could live in, and also hostels where the street homeless could have a rest from their everyday existence.

Camden Council, which is a Tory/Libdem coalition as you know, will not house me and my seven year old son permanently, merely bullies and threatens me into accepting alternatives that are not in the best interests of my small family.

The Local Authority says it is the Government's policies and directives that keep us in this situation. The Government in turn has told me that it is up to the Local Authority to allocate housing. I received another email today in response to my fear of receiving an accelerated court order for possession of my home, telling me they will find me alternative temporary accommdation before the lease on this temporary home runs out next August. I'm caught in a vicious trap where all three main political parties simply blame one another instead of helping us.

In short, I could SCREAM. Instead, the Big Issue Foundation has given me an outlet for all these emotions of anger and fear and hopelessness.

If I could walk 500 miles
Then I would walk 500 more
If it meant I could finally get my son
A good secure front door and floor
La la la la, la la la la, will you sponsor me?
La la la la, la la la la, it's for others you can see (I'm sure the Proclaimers won't mind I've tweaked their song)

Below is the link to my fundraising page on the Big Issue Foundation's website. Any donation would be gratefully received:

http://www.bigissue.com/

If you would prefer to write a cheque, payable to the Big Issue Foundation, my address is:

Papier Mache Towers,
London

Please state if you would like your name and donation to be kept anonymous. Ms Harman, this email is not for you, it's just, understandably, very tricky to email the Prime Minister. However, if you are able to make a donation, do feel free.

Kind regards to you all and good luck in next May's elections,

Sue de Nim

(And this the one which followed it, on 24th November 2009, entitled Hitting Targets:)

Dear Mr Brown, Mr Cameron and Mr Clegg (Once again, apologies Ms Harman, could I ask you to forward this to the Prime Minister?)

I wrote to you last week asking you to sponsor me for the Big Issue's First Big Night Walk, though I neglected to mention that you had until January 20th 2010 to make a donation. I sincerely hope the three of you will do so. Symbolically it will mean a great deal to me, though it will mean a great deal financially to the Big Issue Foundation and all the homeless men and women it supports. "A hand up not a hand out" is their motto. Their vendors work very, very hard to move their lives forward under very difficult circumstances and often in difficult conditions.

Whilst I write to the three of you together, might I also ask what your policies regarding housing and homelessness will be, should any of you win the general election?

You know that my son and I have been waiting to be housed securely and affordably for many years, still without success. We risk being stuck in a benefits system for time eternal for I am a single income household. I do not want to keep bouncing my son around facing possession notice after possession notice in the Private Sector. He needs a secure foundation. All three of you are fathers; all three of you can understand that.

This housing problem in our society is getting worse, much, much worse and I do not think I am alone in wondering what the future has in store for us.

I succeeded in walking the 18 miles last Friday night. I did think of you all as I did so!

Here is a reminder of my fundraising page:

http://www.bigissue.com/

My address if you would prefer to write a cheque payable to the Big Issue Foundation, is:
Papier Mache Towers,
London

It is easier if you make your donation straight away. We are all busy people; it's so easy to forget. It needn't be much, perhaps just the equivalent of what you have in your wallets.

Kind regards,

Sue de Nim

(I did tell a few people I wrote to them and they made jibes about Brown making spelling mistakes. He's only human was my first thought. However, I can be forgiven for all mine and all the grammatical ones to boot for I am not a rich politician.)

Blues versus Black Dogs

I was thinking about posting 'training tips' while at Bazza's Boot Camp, ya know, now I've finished the walk but nah, instead I treat you to the Blues versus Black Dog.

Yesterday, I swept away my post training/fundraising good fun Big Night Walk blues.

Today I thought I'd stamp out any blues residues.

Thanks to my son, there were none to stamp out.

You can't stamp out a Black Dog though, no, that's cruelty to animals that is.

My Black Dog is wearing a collar with 'Housing' etched onto it. Of course I didn't feel its presence on the actual walk, possibly because it was in good company with other Black Dogs, leaving me free and light.

Black Dog was at Bazza's Boot Camp. I took no notice as I struggled with the kick sequences (a shot and two fags not the best start methinks). I was partnered with the Master. No rest with the Master.

Later a Mistress knelt on my shoulders and strangled me. It was my job to heave her off and whack her in the groin. She was light but I was crap so we laughed.

It was a good class.

Got home and got a call from Billie. She's bored and wants to get a job (you see, single mothers don't have to be punitively forced into it you know nothing politicians).

We got onto housing and I heard the Black Dog growl.

Billie means well, she does. I don't need to be told though, that others have a greater need than me; others who have five children squished into a 2 bed; others who have two or three kids also struggling with a possession notice.

Like me though, Billie has one child.
"They don't give us priority because we only have one child," she says. "We don't have more, we don't have a partner. It's so wrong. I'm thinking of starting smoking I'm so stressed about it."

"I can't advise you on that," I reply, while thinking 'blessed fags blessed fags'. "Tell you not to when I do it myself. But I honestly don't know what we did wrong having a baby. I don't know what we're doing wrong by not having any more. I don't know what we're doing wrong not adding weight to the state. "

The Black Dog started barking and just as she said "Sue I need your advice yeah, I want to get into housing and social care," the line broke (the monkey got choked and we both sank together in our little rowing boats clap clap can't I'm drowning clap clap).

My Black Dog is fucking heavy. Bazza's Boot Camp is tough. I am weak but the Master did say my kicks were strong today.

For medicinal reasons I shall continue to go to Bazza's Boot Camp, so that I may match the Dog's strength so that when the time comes I am strong enough to punch and kick my way to a secure home for my son.

So come now Doggie Doggie, calm down. I'm going to have a cigarette and then we are going to sit on the carpet and have a Zen moment together. OK?

Valentine cards in November

This morning I pop into my inbox and I've a message on my Big Issue fundraising page.

It says: "well done, I knew you could do it!"

It's from: Guess who (!!!)

Made me laugh as I've no chance of knowing who that could be.

It felt like receiving a valentine's message from someone who's not my mum.

Not that my mum sends me valentine cards anymore, or come to think of it, anyone, for decades... oh no!

Brightened up my morning so it did, brightened it up!

Sweeping the blues...a minor miracle

Just as I was about to post a funny little coincidence, a phone call came from the school. "Your son's got stomach ache, can you come and collect him?"

Thank goodness I don't work, I'd be fired, I thought as I dashed down them seven flights and flew across the roads.

Doubled up in pain, my son was sitting in the office. Not the first time he's had the pain in his side. A couple of Monday's ago he had it and I cynically thought it was a 'back to school' thing, then got paranoid it might actually be his appendix and rang NHS Direct only for the pain to mysteriously vanish the second I started talking to someone.

He had it again at the weekend, he said, and his dad had given him some calpol. Now in tears he was saying his dad had also said it might be his appendix and that doctors would cut him open with a knife. Oh well done you foca....

Third time now though? The boy crying, walking bent double? I shoved him on Zat and cycled down to the surgery.

On the way he said: "Mummy, I'm going to pray to Jesus to make the pain go away," As we approach the surgery, whadda ya know, the pain goes. Still, it was worth bringing him in.

We took it in turns reading to one another while we waited.

We presented to a young doctor. I told him I'd bought my son in a few times because he's not a regular pooer but had been ignored by those I'd taken him to see.

"So you have a problem with your bowels," the doctor said to my son.
"No, I know all my vowels," answered my son. I got the giggles and couldn't stop.

He prescribed him some laxatives, to 'break the bad habit' commonly seen in young children. I have always felt my potty training wasn't wholly effective when it comes to number two's, so I grabbed the prescription and am hoping for the best.

Anyway, here I am with my very well thank goodness son, midweek, when I have woken up with the blues and posted a little song on blogspot.

"Do you want to go back to school?" I ask him. "You're well enough."
"No mummy, I want to stay with you."
"Well, I have to go into Camden, to get some money, we'll have a bite to eat and then we'll see ok?"

I take him to Toasties, but the guy who sponsored me isn't there to deliver the cash. I get two toasted sandwiches and we settle on the sofa. I laugh with my son! I play with my playmate! We roll like thunder on the sofa! I guess that what they call sweeping the blues!!

We eat and then while he reads a Batman comic, I listen to the lyrics of the music playing on the stereo. I call the school; home time is in two hours, I'll keep him with me.

"I need the toilet mummy," says the little one. The toilets in Toasties are great; you can sit in there for hours reading all the grafity. Home schooling, I think, what a wonderful day it's turning out to be!

My son's favourite was:

Please pu pu and wi wi and puke in the toilet and not on the floor. Thank you. The Management.

Mine was: Butterflies go whereever they please and please whereever they go! (by Amy)

We came home and read some of his school book (Icecream Machine Totally Fizzbombed by Julie Bertagna) then he colours in a picture of Kookaburra bird he'd started for me and hadn't finished yet.

At 4 pm (good timing hun, good timing), he asked if he could play his psp "so I can beat the croc!" (?!?) and I fell asleep beside him, woken with a jolt that I should feed him before his Beaver's class.

I forgot to make the brocolli but he was happy enough with fishcakes and lumpy mash.

My son'll go back to school tomorrow. I've got Boot Camp to stamp out any blues residue. I dunno, today was really quite magic! My boy made my day he did, made my day!

Post Big Walk Blues

Argh, you know when you spend two weeks away from your life, somewhere sunny soaking up the sea, or up a mountain breathing in the view, you have to come home and get on with the life you left behind?

Colleagues ask you if you had a good time and you say "yeah baby!" or something similar but by day two, well you don't want to bang on about it and bore them half to death so you shut up about it but carry on wishing you were still on said beach or said hillside and your heart feels all achy achy.

Back in my worky worky days, when I'd take time off to go to wondrous places, I would come home and feel like this.

So imagine my surprise to feel exactly this when I haven't gone anywhere. Training and fundraising for a Big Walk a holiday? Seems so. Post Big Walk "holiday" achy achy feelings? Seems so.

Elton John's been singing in my ear. Yeah I know, he doesn't sing about post holiday blues but Stigmum, she'll make anything out of anything, and she knows I'm unhappy we're back to infinitely dull housing battles.

Just wish it away
Don't look at it like it's forever
Between you and me I could honestly say
That things can only get better

Now I'm back from away
Dust out the demons inside
And it won't be long before you and me run
To the place in our hearts where we hide

And I guess that's why they call it the blues
Time on my hands, could be time spent with you
Laughing with my son, living with this playmate
Rolling like thunder, the present can be great
So hurry up and sweep off the blues!

Admin

I have just rattled off three overdue emails; 1 ceo, 1 company, 3 party leaders (in the same mail)

Every CEO who has responded to me, I have hit 'reply' and asked one more time.

Seven ceo's responded to me, two personally and of these only one donated.

So:

Total response: 7%
Personal responses: 2%
Number of donators: 1%

Better than 0%, must say.

Even though they didn't respond, I also sent another email to the Party Leaders, telling them they had until January to donate but to do it straight away incase they forget. (I did recognise that they are busy by saying we all are) I grabbed the chance to ask what their policies would be around housing and homelessness should they win the election.

I did bcc the local rag. I ummed and ahhhed over this for a little bit then thought 'sod it'. I emailed them the first time, may as well let them know I'm going to stop after this one.

I have £300 more pounds to find in order to hit my target. I would love to hit my target. The highest fundraiser gets a prize but I'm not in it to win it, I just want to hit my target.

I should email all 100 of the CEO's again really, not just the ones who reply to me, but somewhere I do hope, that by having the grace to respond, they might, might, hand over a tenner....

One lives in hope ey Doris?

Horoscopes

I cling to things, particularly positive timely things:

"'What you don't know can't harm you.'" That is a good phrase (good)... but it requires a caveat (oh?). If there is something that someone else knows, but that you don't know, it can be compromising not to know it, (just a little) especially if that information is being deliberately withheld (don't know that). But if there is something you don't know, and nobody else knows either, why assume that it is going to be anymore harmful than something that you do know?(because somebody does know but I don't know how) You are nervous now, of what you don't know (could say). Go bravely beyond that reservation (OK). It could be good (let's hope so ey?)." (Jonathon Cainer)

Did Belle de Jour feel like this, once upon a time? I have laundry to do... I have a flat to put in order... I have better posts to write...! Then again, it's probably just another storm in my thimble and I should just get on with my day.

Mysteries

Yesterday morning I got a text from one of the Big Issue guys saying he liked my blog!

It's always nice isn't it when someone says they like something you do, it makes you feel valued in some way.

Thing is though, and this is quite a big thing; how did he know I was writing one?!

Indeed, this was exactly what I texted back, immediately infact: "How did you know I was writing one?!"

A veritable mystery!

He'd said someone had sent him the link on his blackberry. But who?

Do you, my followers, know him?

On the walk itself I told no-one what I was doing, except man who came with his wife and another couple, but I didn't give him the link nor did he have anything to do with the Foundation, so I have to rule him out.

Google! Somebody found me on google and passed it to him! I put I don't know how many keywords into Google about the night walk but I didn't come up.

It's a mystery, it's a mystery
I'm still searching for a clue
It's a mystery to me
Shot in the dark
The big question mark in history
Is it a mystery to you?
It can treat you with a vengeance
Trip you in the dark
Sirens in the distance
Can steer you from the path
It can lift you to the heavens
Put your troubles in the past
Whisper the elixir
Vanish in a blast
It's a mystery, it's a mystery (Thanks Toyah )

Tis no mystery how the guy got my number, for in my post walk bubble, I thanked all those who bought a raffle ticket off me that morning (by text obviously!)

A friend of mine very recently interviewed Belle de Jour for the New Scientist. He asked her how she was able to conceal her identity for so long. She replied:

"It wasn't internet sleuthing that led to my outing: it was because I'd told someone I couldn't trust." (newscientist.com)

So that's it then, a mate dobbed me in... isn't it?

Who else knows who knows me but didn't know I am doing this?

I have laundry to do. I have laundry to do! I do have laundry to do.....

Karma

Yesterday I went to help Annie; she'd posted on Facebook that the Age of Stupid guys were getting ready for the climate convention in Copenhagen, was anyone free to lend a hand in preparation.

Well, yeah! I'd made no plans post walk and she mentioned music and beer!

When I got to their offices in Camden I smiled to myself at the karmic situation. What goes around, comes around! They had given me a free ticket to the Big Chill! It was not for this reason I was helping because I am one to forget my debts.

A super nice bunch they are. I met Franny Armstrong! Fortunately I resisted saying "nice to meet you!" I would have sounded very cheesy!

Twas not so easy what I had to do although it was easy what I had to do. First off post comments of those inspired by the film (I really, really, really want, need, must watch it!) Second off, help a few guys on the 'country pages'. Having not been part of the launch, global or national, this was hard so I only had to source press clippings. I was doing ok but just as I had to leave, really struggled to find anything in Germany! Damn damn for there were some as one of the guys emailed me some scans. Obviously lost some gifts from my own working days but it was good to help out....

Annie was working downstairs and me up so I didn't really get to see her but we decided she should come round to dinner one night as Christmas is coming and I'm away next weekend, she's away the one after.... We'll see if we can grab Issy and make a night of it, with beer and music!

I thought of the sponsorship Karma for the Big Walk too.

I posted the link on Facebook and emailed different groups with the link. A while ago, an anthropology friend hurled herself out of an aeroplane for charidee. Did I sponsor her? Did I????
She works with homeless people but of all people she was allowed not to sponsor me!!

What goes around does come around my friends!

Will I do it again next year?

Back from the school run and a man working on the lifts asks me how the walk went.

"Will you do it again next year?" He asks after I say it was great.

"If I'm walking with a group, definitely," I reply.

So yep, so as not to undo the magic I've felt this year, next year walking will depend on two things.

1. My son is at his dad's again. That means the walk is meant to be!
2. I do it with a group of people. Doing it alone was fantastic; those many many people I chatted to from every walk in life (glorious pun!). In a group, maybe we will draw others who are doing it alone to give them a fantastic experience too!

The Big Night Walk Highlights!

Getting lost trying to find the entrance to the BFI Imax. Doh!

Getting there! Being there!

Getting a red wind cheater and a map of directions.

A girl called Claire telling me she felt as nervous as I did.

Short speeches by the event organisers, including a vendor saying the Big Issue had saved his/her life. John Bird, Founder,was not there. "What?" said a vendor later. "Didn't show up for his own gig? Nah he didn't did he?!"

Setting off en masse to the sounds of blazing horns!

Chatting to some larger than life vendors who sell the Big Issue magazine day in, day out regardless of the weather but take a rest on Sundays.

A vendor called Angel discovering we had to pay to do the walk so I explained that every £50 above fundraising target allowed a vendor like him to come too!

Millenium Bridge! I've never walked on Millenium Bridge! I haven't!! A man joins me and Angel and says he has two kids, A&B: "We're going through the alphabet." "Really?" I respond. He laughs and says: "No, two's enough!"

As I flag with utter tiredness, so soon, so soon....I remember all the people who sponsored me and tell myself that I can do this, I really can, I really must....

Start chatting to a co-ordinator called Kid. These vendors are allowed a set amount of magazines to sell which they pay less for.

Reaching the Hispaniola, a boat on the Embankment, our first stop. There's a bar on board and Kid offers to buy me a drink, saying he doesn't usually drink himself but tonight's special. I thank him but say I'll never finish the walk if I accept.

Receiving a beautiful text from Phil. How did she know I was so tired and needed reminding of my own determination?

Receiving a text from my mamma who must have woken up from pelvic bone agony. It was past midnight.

Getting a sparkler and writing I LOVE YOU! with my son in mind, over and over again in the sky!

Setting off of my own and thinking 'ah! I won't get lost' as I see a sea of 'Red Coats' in the distance.

Chatting to Billie about homelessness. I recognised her from Filthy Rich and Famous on the telly!!!

Talking to an outreach volunteer and going too far down the wrong street with other red coats and having to turn back

Seeing a young boy, about 9 or 10 walking with his mum, dad and others

Telling a man I'd bagged some sponsors at the Champagne Bar as we pass Kings Cross St Pancras. He was walking with his wife and another couple and had only signed up a few days before so were going to fundraise afterwards.

Discovering the guy with all the helium balloons strapped to his bag was a vendor from Poland along with his fellow vending brother.

Thinking 'what? Only 6 miles?!' as we reach some marshalls on Eversholt Street and wishing I hadn't forgotten my blimmin' pedometer at home!

Being given a sparkler to celebrate marching a 1/3 of the route.

Seeing drunk revellers outside Koko and thinking "I'm home! I know my way!"

Finally, finally reaching the Roundhouse and the sweet waft of mulled wine making me feel sleepier so drank water instead.

Bumping into Elvis!

Billie telling me to take off my trainers to let my feet breathe. I would now do this at EVERY stop and massage my feet as well!

Kid saying he was leaving, the beer had done him no good. I wish him well.

A bunch of girls slumped against a wall wondering how they would get up again which got me thinking.

Setting off on my own again but bumping into A&B's dad who I'd met on the Millenium Bridge ages ago.

Wanting to take a short cut through to Parkway which I would have done but for A&B's dad.

Camden Town being so busy busy busy still!! Mind you, it was only 2am...

A&B's dad telling me programmes about 'life narratives' helping the mentally unwell understand themselves better and thinking I've done astonishing things in my past and should focus on that.

Walking goes by so much quicker when one is talking!

Reaching the House of Barnabus which is actually a converted church or something. beautiful with little cloisters where take a rest. I'll revisit it at some point.

Being given a glass of champagne! In a glass flute! Give me more!!

Stuffing a pack of mini cheddars and a chocolate brownie in my pocket on the way out.

Being told we should cross at We Will Rock You to set us on our route. "We will, WE WILL rock you," I say flatly, out loud. The girl laughs.

Reading small, tight instructions, in the dark. The organisers did put arrows here and there and up until this point I hadn't taken much notice of them. Hmmm,

The boy I was with saying the girls in front of us were too chirpy and me saying we should catch up with them.

The chirpy girls are actually Old Boots, friends on the top ten team fundraiser list!

Knowing you're going mad when walking down Kingsway you laugh when you realise you've walked too far and have to walk back up it again.

Gosh it's so warm for a November night! So lucky!

Reaching a support van at Lincoln Inn Fields and drinking cup after cup of freezing water before being given a sparkler to celebrate walking 2/3's!

Happy I was no longer on my own for the long trudge to Vauxhall.

Seeing the invisible asleep in their doorways. Not for the first time though. Earlier one had got out of his sleeping bag and joined his pals on this walk.

In the quiet of the night, seeing the plaque dedicated to the Women of World War I in the middle of Whitehall.

One of the chirpy girls telling me she was meeting friends at 8am and going to Twickenham to watch the rugby from a corporate box then taking a train to Nottingham to go out on the lash with old uni mates. Old Boots indeed!

Copying one of the chirpy girls and having a wee behind a tree infront of the Houses of Parliament. Peace not protest...! (Although.....)

Hearing the Sex Pistols coming from a guy's bag and discovering this group were canteen workers from Reading.

All of us saying we'd walked way more than 14 miles and DJ man checking his pedometer. Bugger.

Literally falling into a guy at the Big Issue offices. He wasn't a walker, he was the driver of an automatic car ferrying staff (who still looked wide awake and alert despite working all day and now working all night)

Tea! Tea!- A spoon full of sugar helps the cuppa tea go down, the cuppa tea go down, the cuppa tea go down! A spoon full of sugar helps the cuppa tea go down, all in a delightful way! (Mary Poppins)

Must get up, must... must leave the Reading crew or I will sleep forever in these Big Issue Headquarters (apparantly someone chose to do just that...!)

Off I go, alone, but see Red Coats. These are the Wondergirls, number 2 of the top team fundraisers!!

Yakking, yakkety yak with the business md and the corporate lawyer none of us understanding why politicians and the media insist on ignoring this level of our society.

The Thames, the London Eye eh what? Carrying on up the Southbank?!

One more flight of stairs!

All down hill to the Imax!

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!
Finishhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhed!

Masseurs!

A queue!

Receiving a medal, placed over my head like I've won the olympics or something!

Big Issue boy massages my shoulders with strong firm hands. Tis lovely for fuck my backpack killed my shoulders!!

Vendor falling asleep on the massage bed arms hanging over the sides. Exactly how I feel too!

Tell the guy next to me that he should have a warm bath when he gets home and he tells me he'll remember to switch on the heating. Many of these vendors 'choose' to sleep on the street to avoid the cost of a hostel. Angel sends his money back to his eight year old daughter who recently moved to Belgrade with her mother. Kid has high vetinary costs for his dog who has bladder cancer. They buy the magazines to sell to us and what they don't sell is their business 'loss'.

Eventually my turn on the massage table. "My left leg please," I beg the masseur. "Ah, ah, ow, no it's alright carry on ah oh ah ah aaah aaaaaaaah aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!"

Free butties from the Giggly Pig Co! The Imax showed a Batman all nighter and a group of five guys tried to get a burger and were turned away by the girl: "These are for the Big Issue Walkers." Yay!

Sitting with the event organisers, who offer to buy me a beer. Oh I think so yes! And they bought raffle tickets for my son's winter fair!

Getting home at about 8 am, the lift carrying me up. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

What a fantastic night!

Downtown! Things they were great when I was downtown! Tough on my bod but fab, downtown, all these things waited for me!

Stepping out for The Night Walk - the song!!

When I'm alone and life is making me lonely
I can always go - downtown
When I've got worries, all the noise and the hurry
Seems to help I know - downtown
Just listen to music of the traffic in the city
Linger on the sidewalk where the neon signs are pretty
How can I lose?

The lights are much brighter there
I can forget all my troubles, forget all my cares
So go downtown, thing's will be great when I'm
Downtown - no finer place for sure
Downtown - everything's waiting for me!

Don't hang around and let my problems surround me
There's a Big Night Walk - downtown
Maybe I'll know some little places to go
When I have done this stalk - downtown

I'll listen to the rhythm of a gentle supernova
I'll be dancing with these guys before the night is over
Happy again

The lights are much brighter there
I can forget all my troubles, forget all my cares
And head downtown, where all the lights are bright
Downtown - meeting new folk tonight
Downtown - I'm gonna be all right now

(instrumental break)

And I may find somebody kind to help and understand me
Someone who is just like me and needs a gentle hand to
Guide them along

So maybe you'll see me there
We can forget all our troubles, forget all our cares
And go downtown, things will be great when I'm
Downtown - don't wait a minute for
Downtown - everything's waiting for me!

(Petula Clark, Stigmum changed some lyrics of your top song because that's what Stigmum does; it's a habit of hers. Thank you for geeing me up for what is bound to be a mad and mental evening if I allow it to be, which I will, breathe, breathe....!)

Coincidences

There have been plenty of little coincidences to this walk which I should try and post sometime, but after meeting Milly (she offered me a lift home! From round the corner! I took it, of course..!), anyway, after meeting her, hugging her, accepting her generous donation I came home and had a much needed nap (cor blimey yes, and the lift's being fixed so I had to walk the seven flights... lift fixer though said his sister did the Moon Walk and cried the last 10 miles she was in so much pain and so tired. This is only 18, not 26 miles, so told him to thank his sister for I shall remember this tonight)

So I'm napping and what do I remember all of a sudden? What do I remember???!

When I was pregnant, my bubba in my belly, I went to a Proclaimers gig!! I went backstage and met them!! Oh, sometimes you just don't know why a song pops into your head and then when you least expect it, all becomes clear!!

Tis a different song though that prepares me for the journey ahead, the end of this journey really so what popped into my head then, is really quite fitting!