Contrasts on a sunny day

If I didn't have to go to a PA meeting later I would go to the pond. Yesterday I did, a day much like today. A warm, blue sky, grass and trees all shades of shining green. I would go and lie in the meadow of wild flowers and finish my book: Cormac McCarthy's The Road, which Ellie gave me for my birthday.
It's the tale of a father and son walking through burnt America, heading south to the coast with only a pistol with which to defend themselves. It's a desolate landscape, buildings looted and ravaged, trees once pregnant with life, now stumps in a grey ashen wilderness. Towns now just abandoned memories, everything once known, gone.
It's freezing cold as the father and his terrified, starving child, try to find food or a dry, safe place to sleep for the night, away from the road, where men who find them will kill them for whatever they've got, even the meat on their bones.
I'm half way through. It's emotionally heavy, it's heartbreaking, it's haunting, but it's beautifully written.
Suffice to say, I'm hoping for a happy ending.....

Floods

The residents meeting cancelled again because the hall is flooded.
They still haven't pumped the water out beneath the lift so me still carrying the bike down the stairs (ok so good for the muscles in my arm...one will look toned, the other swinging bingo wings... oh well)
And this beautiful sunny morning I'm drowning in the mess in my flat. Paper paper everywhere. Perhaps I should give up thoughts of a research and writing career then there'll be less.
Storage? There is no storage!
I dream I dream......

Matt the mental healh worker says goodbye

Matt my mental health worker popped round earlier to say goodbye. I've been struck off the list as I've been on it too long. I'll miss Matt, he's a nice guy. It was nice that I could laugh and cry on him, share my mad ideas.

Tommy my housing officer was supposed to come round. He sent a letter telling me he would carry out his regular property visit between 9.30 and 12.30. He didn't show.

What's the odds of him writing saying that I wasn't there? That's what life's like when you're a stigmum at the bottom of the bucket.

I'm going to have to wait in another morning now. It's an opportunity to tidy up I know but grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr......

So long Farrah Fawcett

Quite shocked by her demise too, the original Charlie's Angel. The '80's were quite something ey. I never did try and copy her hair do. Alas, there is still time!
Rest in peace Farrah
(what a day was yesterday.....)

So long Jacko

I heard the news bulletin last night after Question Time. I was shocked. You know, that momentary feeling of nothing before the heart starts beating again and you think 'oh god'. Or that's what I thought, there are plenty of spontaneous reactionary words to choose from.

This morning though, as I went outside to have a quick first fag of the day, my next door neighbour came home clutching a tabloid. "JACKO'S DEAD" the headline screamed. Then next door neighbour went into her studio and put on his music REALLY LOUD! It was great!!

My son doesn't know Michael Jackson too well. I've got the odd motown track but no album of his. However outside the lift before I took him to school, he got the hang of a song remarkably quickly so the wait was anything but arduous, we just had to join in

Beat it, beat it, beat it, beat it
No one wants to be defeated
Showin' how funky and strong is your fight
It doesn't matter who's wrong or right
Just beat it, beat it, beat it, beat it

Rest in peace Jacko and thank you for the music (yes I know that's an Abba track, I just can't help myself)

Nought nice to bid on

It's Thursday, bidding day, so off I go and log in to the homeconnections site to see what's there. Quite a number of properties today, 9 in all. Three of them are housing association and the other six council owned towers. There's security of tenancy with the council so I never bid for housing associations. Council properties are cheaper too.

The name of the game is to bid for everything. I do not do this. I don't want to pull my son out of a very good school to go and live in an estate near Kings Cross. There's only one property near me, well, nearish me.

It's on the third floor. I've been reluctant to bid for anything above the second because of carrying the bike but this one does have a balcony so there is somewhere to keep it.

The location doesn't look pretty. It's a block on a main road, but then block on a main road is better than a block hidden in the midst of a large estate, even if it is noisy. It's not often I go out at night but I don't want to be scared out of my wits when I do and have to walk home. My son will have to do it one day.....

Papier Mache Towers is on the edge of an estate opposite where celebrities live in terraced houses. Sometimes if I get the 24 night bus I have to walk through the estate. I walk quickly, it's so quiet and I remain very aware of my surroundings, on high alert if you like. When one's been mugged in a public place and not heard screaming it alters the way one walks around.

I'm already 30th out of 62 bids for this 'maisonette' in the sky. By Monday I'll be 200 and something out of 400 and something. Tis a pointless exercise but it's what we all have to do.

Would you like to play this game?

Ideas

I have one. It might get me into trouble. If I am successful it will certainly get press attention and I don't really like that but of course the press will report my success. I will be the sacrificial lamb, or rather mutton. I prize my anonymity you see. Perhaps I will be allowed to keep my anonymity, I don't know how the law stands around this idea of mine.
A good idea always comes with a few obstacles. I shall tell you if I fail. I won't have to if I succeed.