Accepted temporary flat

"What do you think? Do you like it?" asked the council manager and housing officer.
"Um, um yeah, I'm a bit overwhelmed if I'm honest."

It's a box flat! It's bigger than here, which isn't difficult, this place is small. Mine and my son's rooms are big (again comparatively). They have inbuilt wardrobes! One has an ensuite shower! "My room!" I said to my son who looked a tad dismayed when I said that even though his room might be bigger (hard to tell, slanted wall on one side, we're living I think in a converted attic)

You can't sit in the kitchen, nor put furniture in it but that looks roomy because it's square. Didn't look at it properly to be honest, check out side boards and stuff but there were builders in the flat finishing off repairs here and there.

The living room looked twice the size of this one. How do I make that space look homely?!

Best of all? A balcony! Zat has a home that doesn't clutter up the hallway! There is quite a spacious meter cupboard on the ground floor which they said I couldn't use for the bike but I might keep my son's down there. It's one thing me lugging Zat up four flights of stairs, my son doesn't have to be doing that twice daily.

This is bigger than the council flat I viewed three years ago. Others I've seen, like my mate charlie's, are abit bigger again. Just as you're lucky with what you get with a council flat, I feel very lucky with what we've been given as a temporary. It is not a hostel. It is near my son's school.

"Can we live here forever?" asked my son.

Silence. We adults looked at one another

"No baby, we can't," I replied.

Last night my gut feeling was everywhere. Do I turn it down and take one more risk for permanent?

We can't let go and make a proper home of it; no drilling shelves into the wall or any of that stuff. I had no sense, when we were in there of 'phew, we can stay here' but you know what? I'm so exhausted, so utterly exhausted. By just accepting it, it seems all the tension lodged inside me these past many months has just evaporated.

I'm feeling very dizzy, very weak and need very much to lie down.

It's not over, but it's over

phew