Who to blame for this wee problem?

Do I have cystitis?
Do I?
Is it because I had sex with a stranger that I have this?
Please God, no.
No, that's not fair.
Is it his fault?
Did he give me this?
I'm not allergic to condoms, am I?
No...No!
We weren't without anything for long
that third time
we weren't..
Stop I said, you're a nice guy but I don't want your baby!
"I'm a slut," he said, watching me from the bathroom door.
I smiled thinking "I wish I was
no I don't
Isn't slut our word?
It's my fault isn't it?
Mine
for fucking myself the day I met him
oh fuck,
oh my God I did didn't I?
The day I met him and today
Today today too
Fucking myself
I didn't wash my hands...
Dirty...Dirty...
No
Sex therapists tell you to do it..
It's how you heal
It's how you heal
Sex is good
Sex is natural
Sex is
Fascinating Aida and I'd shag me if I could oh god I'd be
GOOD

I don't love me enough
That' why.
This is my fault
It's not him. It's not me having sex with me or him.

It's a wake up call
WAKE UP
oh...want that beer in the fridge
WAKE UP

It is time
to ACCEPT WHO YOU ARE

Accept who you are

I release the pattern in my conciousness that created this condition. I AM WILLING TO CHANGE. I love and approve of myself
(Louise L Hay - You Can Heal Your Life under Urinary Infections)

(Taken from notebook 27th January 2012)