Early 2010 report

I had a beautiful new year. My friend Em and her family were so good to us! We joined her, her lovely hubby, her beautiful son to Alvin and the Chipmunks, then with £10 vouchers went and got a bite to eat. New Years Eve was a blast. We descended on her neighbours house for a night of fun! She has such great friends in her cul de sac!

New Years Day we went to watch Stevenage play Cambridge - my son's first football match. He loved it! The whoops and delights as Stevenage threw in the goals, 4-1 by end of play!

Back in London me and the boy chilled. Took him to church yesterday (I'm getting used to the idea) then we had a lovely walk on the heath under a blue sky.

I post this little report because things are slowly going down hill where a day ago I was on a flat surface..... It's been pressing on me since yesterday afternoon. I do not understand because on the surface everything is as it should be and nothing is wrong.

I decided last night it is this flat; the walls are closing in on me, everything's hurting my eyes, nowhere offers any peace. I'm breathing alot, doing the 'three minute meditations' for a minute or so to remind me that actually, right now, my world is as it should be and nothing is wrong.

Only the light in the bathroom has blown. When the landlady replaced the fixtures in the bathroom and living room she got fandangled things that might look pretty but is not a pretty job to replace. At least the bathroom needs a normal bulb. For the living room I have to go to a shop somewhere far away because the bulbs are 'special'.

There is great symbolism in this that I do not wish to think about right now.

I shall have a bath (we have hot water) and I will take my son to the Science Museum.

Tomorrow is my new New Year's Day. While my son is in school I shall resolve to light up my life.
Or maybe just my immediate surroundings.
Somehow.
I may just sit quietly and breathe.
2010 has just begun, why force things?