A job hunting experiment?

Following yesterday's seminar on the need for social as well as academic skills, I'm rather tempted to send out my CV with just my 'basic' qualification on it. Given that I took O'Levels and not GCSE's (apart from maths, which I had to retake and retake) they will know immediately that I am not a spring chicken, more an autumn peasant, I mean pheasant.

Wow, take eight years away. How do I fill these years actually spent studying for exams (ahem)?
Embellish the jobs I did, I guess. Pretend I did them for longer. There are rather alot of them so it would be good to give them an airing. They never make it onto the required two pages of the curriculum vitae these days.

Now let's see; washer upper in a pub, manufacturer and seller of handmade chocolates, service staff in a self service restaurant, ride operator in an amusement park, cleaner, bar staff, dinner lady, waitress, factory worker, data inputter, telemarketer, telesales, cleaner again (France, that should earn something no?) boat stewardess, call centre operative, teacher, hostess, oh my goodness, forgot - sales assistant, cashier, I'm getting quite depressed now, I don't want to do these jobs again (although teacher... hmm). Luckily I can chuck in some journo stuff. I was so glad when I finally got to that, an end to all those means I thought....

I could expand the time I spent abroad. Pretend I went for that job in Tahiti. Oh silly me that I didn't - I came home to get a 'career' ha ha.

I can squeeze eight years out of that can't I? I'll go for social research jobs obviously. Aim high. I think my experiences lend themselves very well to that; Perhaps I should give myself a chance and aim for some type of voluntary thing, an internship. For motherhood of course, I've been doing that for years, but that's not seen as a proper job. I've been out of work, 'unemployed', for a rather long time. Employers find that off putting.

Yes, I know I'll have to embellish the truth, but it's an experiment remember. How much does a degree matter? In recent years I've had rejections if I'm lucky. Usually they don't get back in touch at all. Such is life but you may know this life, it's not uncommon.

Shall I?

I'm tempted.

I might just re-write the CV and see. But then again, I'm scared of going back to work. Scared I'll miss my son's plays, fun runs, sport days, concerts, class teas, half term, my easter, summer, christmas holiday access with him, he won't like any of that at all either. Bazza's boot camp - that does me so much good....

I'm so extraordinarily good at thinking my way out of good ideas.