The Estimators

A Ska/Rockabilly band called the Estimators was playing at The Oxford on Saturday night.

I wanted to go. I know two dads in the band and I wanted to support them. On Saturday morning I had no friends.

I can go to gigs on my own, I can go pretty much anywhere on my own. It usually doesn't bother me. However, on Saturday morning, trooping off to The Oxford with no companion in tow, filled me with dread.

The Estimators have quite a following you see. They have quite a following of people I know to say hi to. Nice people. I didn't want these nice people to think I had no friends. Aaaargh, what to do?

My phone rang. It was Issy. She'd invited me to Birmingham for the weekend and I'd declined. Turns out she decided not to go too. She was still in London! "Wanna come with me to a gig?!"

She was going to see comedy with her flatmate, she said. She'd try and make it. Oh I was happy! I texted Annie, because if Issy wasn't in Brum, neither was she. She said she'd try but she was dog sitting and also felt like shite.

I hoped I hoped I hoped!!

Through the letter box comes a large envelope with the Foca's handwritting on it. I ignored it. I ignored it for as long as I could, then told myself not to be silly, I'd only ask myself what it contained all weekend anyway. May as well get it over with.

A booklet on parenting plans and putting your children first. Patronising bastard.

A court order to appear at Brighton County Courts on August 17th. I saw his signature. It stung my eyes, it burnt my fingers, I crammed everything back in the envelope and shoved it under a cushion on the sofa.

Bastard. Bastard.

The Estimators. What kind of company would I be for anyone anyway. I should go. What the hell, what the hell.

I see the drummer outside the pub when I get there at 9pm. Thank goodness I haven't missed it! I was going to text his wife this morning, I tell him, ask if it was ok to go along with her because I had no friends. He said he'd seen my article in the CNJ well done but didn't like the ending; I should've written I was at my wits end.

I see his wife, Glam Mum, and tell her I was going to text her. She was with her 'new' family. I say 'new' because she didn't know she had 30 cousins from Tipperary in Ireland until a few months before. She'd never known her father and a whole denied part of her life came to her through facebook.

Lovely, funny people, I chatted to them for a long time, before Issy turned up with her flatmate, the band started upstairs and an evening dancing to glorious trumpets and saxs', drums and bass ensued!!

You know a really wonderful thing about that Saturday?

Where one Irish man wounded my soul, a whole community of others embraced it.

I thank the World for many things, I thanked the World for that.