I don't smoke anymore!

I don't smoke anymore!
I look at the picture of the boy
on the cigarette packet
Skin as soft as yours
his eyes closed, his long lashes
looks just like you when you're sleeping
I'm not going to do it to you anymore baby
I'm not going to do it to myself either

Then I cut the picture out, careful not to
include the smoke
and I stick it here
to remind me
no I won't
I might just have it in the kitchen cupboard
because I don't have pictures of you sleeping
only laughing

I realised I was holding it
staring at it
not wanting to let it go
because I was afraid of losing him
Every parent's afraid of that

You won't lose him
Go and kiss the child

You won't smell anymore
You won't smell anymore!

Throw the box
It's not my son I'm throwing away
it's Nico Teen
Tobacco
A poisonous plant

(Taken from Notebook - Tuesday 18th January)