A harrowing but excellent Dispatches documentary about Britain's street children last night on Channel 4.
Children who run away from home, or forced to leave, or in the case of one put into care and then running away from that.
The difficulty they face accessing secure accommodation (one so happy when she got two weeks in a B &B).
We were told that upwards of 100,000 children become homeless every year and following the spending review, is likely to increase.
There was one, a Scottish girl called Robyn, a heroin addict. She said at the age of 12 she was so desensitized by the violence she experienced at home that the street could only be a better place for her. She's met them all; rapists, peodophiles, the mentally ill who in a moment of rage would threaten to kill her.
Later in the documentary you see her selling the Big Issue, talking about how she envies girls her age who don't realise how lucky they are. With her wisdom, she could become a teacher. I went to bed so wishing someone watched that documentary who can add to the opportunities she's trying to create for herself.
Another 16 year old who was featured was a girl called Chelsey. It's very hard for some teenagers to ask for help as there's so much mistrust of authority. By the end of the programme though, she has been offered a long stay hostel and is training to be a plasterer.
Seventeen year old Sophie squats with her 34 year old drug dealer boyfriend having been abandoned by her mother years and years before. The relationship ends, we see her sofa surfing here and there and finally reunited with her mother. This doesn't work out. What will happen to her as she turns 18?
There was only one boy, Haydon, evicted by his mother after several 'last chances'. An agency finds him emergency accommodation but he realises he's 'too young' to live on his own and returns to his mum, which is lucky for him.
I want the coalition to reduce the deficit by skimming from those who tax avoid and tax evade, not by taking from those who have so little in the first place.
It was an important documentary this, coming at a very good time. Things can get worse but it doesn't have to, and it shouldn't have to.
http://www.railwaychildren.org.uk/
Showing posts with label child abuse. Show all posts
Showing posts with label child abuse. Show all posts
Tuesday, 2 November 2010
Friday, 8 October 2010
Transfer to... to....help or harm?
A meeting has been scheduled for me next week with a social worker transfer team.
My son's current social worker is from the duty and assessment team, I'm being transferred to a long term team because they are worried about the welfare of my child.
My son's school is invited, my housing support worker and the Foca was but I ummed and ahhed before saying no to that.
To say I'm not looking forward to it is the greatest understatement.
Chatting to son's deputy head this morning, she told me what to expect and said it 'wouldn't be easy'. "Be prepared to hear hard things," she said.
Amongst those, would you believe, is the accusation of emotional abuse.
Emotional abuse because I cry in front of my son (how little but they've seen me do it once or twice and that's enough)
Emotional abuse because I talk to my son about what's happening.
I've had it out with the social worker already that she told me I should.
They are likely to bring up the fact that my son wrote to Cameron. Social worker told Deputy and said that "wasn't right", my son is a "child".
I told Deputy my flat was tidy, we both know I have to try and keep it that way.
Emotional abuse, it's so insipid isn't it? And where do you draw the line? After all, I don't tell my son he's stupid, I don't swear at him, I don't tell him that if he doesn't behave it'll be his fault we end up in a hostel.
Fucking hell
My son has to see a nurse so this new team have a physical report. The Deputy hopes to be at the meeting to support us both but she's been called to dury service and might not be. My son's doing really well at school, has a solid group of friends. She's written a report for them in favour of how well he's doing and how settled he is.
My son's current social worker is from the duty and assessment team, I'm being transferred to a long term team because they are worried about the welfare of my child.
My son's school is invited, my housing support worker and the Foca was but I ummed and ahhed before saying no to that.
To say I'm not looking forward to it is the greatest understatement.
Chatting to son's deputy head this morning, she told me what to expect and said it 'wouldn't be easy'. "Be prepared to hear hard things," she said.
Amongst those, would you believe, is the accusation of emotional abuse.
Emotional abuse because I cry in front of my son (how little but they've seen me do it once or twice and that's enough)
Emotional abuse because I talk to my son about what's happening.
I've had it out with the social worker already that she told me I should.
They are likely to bring up the fact that my son wrote to Cameron. Social worker told Deputy and said that "wasn't right", my son is a "child".
I told Deputy my flat was tidy, we both know I have to try and keep it that way.
Emotional abuse, it's so insipid isn't it? And where do you draw the line? After all, I don't tell my son he's stupid, I don't swear at him, I don't tell him that if he doesn't behave it'll be his fault we end up in a hostel.
Fucking hell
My son has to see a nurse so this new team have a physical report. The Deputy hopes to be at the meeting to support us both but she's been called to dury service and might not be. My son's doing really well at school, has a solid group of friends. She's written a report for them in favour of how well he's doing and how settled he is.
"You'll have to be strong," said Deputy. "Try not to get defensive."
It's next wednesday. There is no room for paranoia. I'm seeing friends tonight. I will rage to them, because I need to rage. I have until next tuesday to get my act together and remain calm.
Calm.
Calm.
I need to use my experiences one day. What's happening is just not on.
Tuesday, 28 September 2010
Child Protection
If we end up in a hostel, there is something very very wrong with this system. Never let it be said that it's my choice to take my son to one. But if the council does put us there Allocations, and this is what I need an answer to; if we are and social services slam a protection order on my son, will this help us or will this harm us?
Part of an email sent to allocations this evening. I'd give you the whole lot but I'm fucking tired.
All I will say is I need an answer to it.
Part of an email sent to allocations this evening. I'd give you the whole lot but I'm fucking tired.
All I will say is I need an answer to it.
Taking my headache to the doctor
For over a month now I've been getting wierd 10 second bashes on the right side of my head. I can't take paracetamol because it's not a headache. Coupled with flaming feet - eczema has descended on them in the same literally bleeding way they did on my breasts when I lived in Japan, I booked a doctor's appointment two weeks ago.
"I've heard you've been offered a flat in Kilburn," says Doc when I sit down.
"Wow, that was quick," I answer.
She said my son's social worker called her (she knew I was seeing her because I told her when she called yesterday morning). Doc was told to tell me that if I don't take the flat in Kilburn then the council will place my son and I in a hostel and if that happens the social services will put my son on the child protection register.
Yes, you read me right
They'll see my actions as one of an unfit mother. So said Doc.
What? I railed, I swore, I cried through all my rantings. That's blackmail I told her. It's the choices I have she replied. "There's no such thing as an ideal world"
"An ideal world?" railed I. "An ideal world is one where I've got a nice job and a rich husband and I live in a house that's mine and I can't get evicted from."
"Oh well that's everyone's ideal," she countered.
"What?" I could only splutter. What's her situation?
"I should take your blood pressure but it's probably sky high," she says.
I left her surgery sobbing, Hard, raw, gutteral sobs.
Sat with Nico Teen by Zat locked bike and sobbed some more.
Lucky enough to run into two lovely mums as I went to buy wrapping paper. Both have survived housing problems with the council in the past
They were both pretty incredulous. There is comfort in that. There is a lot of comfort in that.
"They don't care," said C's mum. "The council don't care at all. You should go up to them, whoever they are and shove that wrapping paper up their arse!"
It's like a heart beat. That's what it's like, the 10 second throb. And it's not 10 seconds at all. It's more like 3. Doc said it was "probably tension headaches." I hope that's all it is. I get them when I'm not stressed too. Right now I've got a real headache, you know, all over.
She said she'd got a referal that I be put through to CBT but said: "You've been down that route and now I think you're just being pushed from pillar to post." She didn't suggest anything else. She didn't say to come back if I need to chat.
She never got to see my flaming feet.
She won't get to see me ever again.
I've spent the night writing to allocations. I'll never post it. Too long. I was writing into a void, just like I am now.
Bad mother...
No-one to talk to but you stiggers.
"I've heard you've been offered a flat in Kilburn," says Doc when I sit down.
"Wow, that was quick," I answer.
She said my son's social worker called her (she knew I was seeing her because I told her when she called yesterday morning). Doc was told to tell me that if I don't take the flat in Kilburn then the council will place my son and I in a hostel and if that happens the social services will put my son on the child protection register.
Yes, you read me right
They'll see my actions as one of an unfit mother. So said Doc.
What? I railed, I swore, I cried through all my rantings. That's blackmail I told her. It's the choices I have she replied. "There's no such thing as an ideal world"
"An ideal world?" railed I. "An ideal world is one where I've got a nice job and a rich husband and I live in a house that's mine and I can't get evicted from."
"Oh well that's everyone's ideal," she countered.
"What?" I could only splutter. What's her situation?
"I should take your blood pressure but it's probably sky high," she says.
I left her surgery sobbing, Hard, raw, gutteral sobs.
Sat with Nico Teen by Zat locked bike and sobbed some more.
Lucky enough to run into two lovely mums as I went to buy wrapping paper. Both have survived housing problems with the council in the past
They were both pretty incredulous. There is comfort in that. There is a lot of comfort in that.
"They don't care," said C's mum. "The council don't care at all. You should go up to them, whoever they are and shove that wrapping paper up their arse!"
It's like a heart beat. That's what it's like, the 10 second throb. And it's not 10 seconds at all. It's more like 3. Doc said it was "probably tension headaches." I hope that's all it is. I get them when I'm not stressed too. Right now I've got a real headache, you know, all over.
She said she'd got a referal that I be put through to CBT but said: "You've been down that route and now I think you're just being pushed from pillar to post." She didn't suggest anything else. She didn't say to come back if I need to chat.
She never got to see my flaming feet.
She won't get to see me ever again.
I've spent the night writing to allocations. I'll never post it. Too long. I was writing into a void, just like I am now.
Bad mother...
No-one to talk to but you stiggers.
Wednesday, 21 October 2009
Women who abuse children
I used to think that if behind every great man was a woman, then behind every fallen woman there's a man. I was thinking of my life.
The murder and sexual assault of children by women is in a different league entirely. Stories I've read in the past always involved a man, very often a step father or boyfriend. Victoria Climbie, Baby P...
As you know, a slew of female peodophiles have made the news recently.
Vanessa George, a nursery worker, is accused of sexually assaulting children in her care in a nursery on the grounds of a primary school. She had accomplices; Colin Blanchard and Angela Allen who she met on facebook.
All on her own, Ms George is still refusing to disclose which children she abused.
In the Evening Standard (back on October 2nd) it was said that when she comes out of prison, it is likely she will be given a new identity and somewhere new to live to protect her from vigilante attacks. Why oh why oh why are our courts and councils going to protect her?
She is showing no remorse by disallowing parents any closure, not allowing these parents any understanding of the behaviour of their very young children. Can't she stay in prison? Can we put it to a vote?
Behind some fallen women there's a man, behind others there's cruelty beyond any civilian's understanding. That many peodophiles, men and women, were abused as children isn't enough for me though. Is it enough for you?
The murder and sexual assault of children by women is in a different league entirely. Stories I've read in the past always involved a man, very often a step father or boyfriend. Victoria Climbie, Baby P...
As you know, a slew of female peodophiles have made the news recently.
Vanessa George, a nursery worker, is accused of sexually assaulting children in her care in a nursery on the grounds of a primary school. She had accomplices; Colin Blanchard and Angela Allen who she met on facebook.
All on her own, Ms George is still refusing to disclose which children she abused.
In the Evening Standard (back on October 2nd) it was said that when she comes out of prison, it is likely she will be given a new identity and somewhere new to live to protect her from vigilante attacks. Why oh why oh why are our courts and councils going to protect her?
She is showing no remorse by disallowing parents any closure, not allowing these parents any understanding of the behaviour of their very young children. Can't she stay in prison? Can we put it to a vote?
Behind some fallen women there's a man, behind others there's cruelty beyond any civilian's understanding. That many peodophiles, men and women, were abused as children isn't enough for me though. Is it enough for you?
Wednesday, 25 February 2009
Playground bullies
They pick a child, they single them out, call them names, accuse them of false wrong doing, and exclude them. That's just the parents. Or rather one parent. I call her Ugly Mother because that's what she is. Ugly.
She told me I was negative, always talking about myself wailing "I've got problems too you know!" She's kept by her ex, not the State. She lives on a Crown, not a Council estate. She wishes there were more middle class parents in the school. God help it if they are anything like her.
She's repeatedly called my son a liar ever since I told her he'd sorted out problems with his friends - who happen to be her son and Media dad's. I thought the parents were mine, school gate speaking. Our boys were five years old at the time.
She told me to pull him out of the school. She said she'd tell her child not to play with mine. She snaps when my boy asks her if her's can come and play.
I don't know what she whittered to Media dad other than "three's a crowd, three's a crowd." But the next thing you know the man I'm getting on well with starts blanking me! My life in the playground suddenly mirrors my son's. It's surreal.
Still, Media dad is not ugly. He hasn't insulted my child, projected his bile onto him. He's still very gentle with him, even invited him round for a sleepover. Nothing short of a miracle I thought at the time but good for his son, for mine, for their relationship.
Children ey. What can you do? Particularly when they are in their 40's.
She told me I was negative, always talking about myself wailing "I've got problems too you know!" She's kept by her ex, not the State. She lives on a Crown, not a Council estate. She wishes there were more middle class parents in the school. God help it if they are anything like her.
She's repeatedly called my son a liar ever since I told her he'd sorted out problems with his friends - who happen to be her son and Media dad's. I thought the parents were mine, school gate speaking. Our boys were five years old at the time.
She told me to pull him out of the school. She said she'd tell her child not to play with mine. She snaps when my boy asks her if her's can come and play.
I don't know what she whittered to Media dad other than "three's a crowd, three's a crowd." But the next thing you know the man I'm getting on well with starts blanking me! My life in the playground suddenly mirrors my son's. It's surreal.
Still, Media dad is not ugly. He hasn't insulted my child, projected his bile onto him. He's still very gentle with him, even invited him round for a sleepover. Nothing short of a miracle I thought at the time but good for his son, for mine, for their relationship.
Children ey. What can you do? Particularly when they are in their 40's.
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