Praying for "the best outcomes"

I can't articulate the magnitude so I won't even try.

Tomorrow morning I have a 2 hour exam which if I pass will be a positive step in direction of my dreams - namely to learn shorthand (in the short-term) and get a payrise.(in the long-term)

Tomorrow afternoon I am viewing a flat. This is huge, this is so big, this is enormous.
The flat is great for my son, but not for me, on account of Zat bike and there being no space for it. It's a form of transport I need. Would you get rid of your much loved car because the home you've had a choiceless choice to move into meant you had to? Anyway, I'm saying YES and feel really fucking sick. I don't want to lose the bike. Argos have a 65% clearance sale going on though so timing couldn't be more perfect if we got it. Starting from scratch here...neither of us have beds and that's just the start...

I need to share some coincidences...I'll be quick, I don't like long posts particularly unless they are well written and well, love Stigmum as I do, I am her conduit and a hopeless judge.

The flat I'm viewing tomorrow is in the same block, or next door to the block where I said 'no' to a flat 6 years ago. (The first person had accepted it so I didn't see why I had to...)

I got a call on Tuesday, after posting (!) to go and view a flat I bid on in.... Papier Mache Towers! Yes, the place my son and I wrote this entire blog from when we were being evicted. "Aren't there plans to knock it down?" I said to the woman on the phone. "I don't know about that," she said. "I'm only given names to call. Do you want to view it?"

Yesterday I bet myself that on the bidding boards today, there would be a garden flat. There would be my 'ideal home'.
Bingo! There it was. Ground and basement floors with a garden. Steps so not for wheelchairs. And where is it? Why, the very street my son first lived on. A few doors down from where we both lived with the Foca. The very first place we were booted out from. Well, given no choice but to leave.

It made me think about Posh Street, where we were evicted from afterwards, narrowly avoiding a hostel only to land in Papier Mache Towers. I'd stand in the Posh Street's park in those dark days and implore the sky: "Please, one day, bring me back to Rochester!" like a Bronte heroine, only not half as cool.

Imagine...(I breathe, it is, all, if not too much, alot)

Anything could happen. Who knows what can happen? Not me (I've been reading posts that I saw others had read from Stiggers stats - long story ey stigs, a long long story but them readers picked some good ones for me to read back on. Your best is sometimes hard to find)

I'm praying I pass that exam tomorrow morning.
With the housing, I'm praying, I'm praying hard for the best outcome.
Whatever happens, I'm saying YES.
With that I relinquish control and hope the best, whatever that may be, comes to me and my boy.
My son, my sun, my boy, my buoy.

He asked to sleep in my bed tonight - "So you can hear me breathing if you can't sleep. I remember you said that used to help you when we shared a room"

How many times can you win in life?

I won with him; my son my sun my buoy, my boy.

I win for him now.

best outcomes best outcome best outcomes

Should a stigma be attached to benefit claimants?

It was last week I think, listening to LBC radio, one of the presenters asked if benefit claimants should be stigmatised.

Stiggers! For years a wealth of our society have thought so, or so I though. Afterall, that's how you came into existance...Stigma, Stigmamma, Stigmum!

Last week's news was how overweight people should agree to exercise or have their housing benefit cut (more than it's already being cut)

A bill is being passed to day to legislate the reduction of benefit payments. Benefit claimants get too much. So they're reducing annual payments to 1% instead as measuring it to inflation. Haven't the Tories done well?
They've pitted the working poor against the welfare poor and blinded people with their rhetoric.

Didn't Osborne paint that picture of the father leaving for work while next door, blinds down, the benefit claimant, stays in bed? What I find interesting about that is I'm pretty sure when I first read that, Osborne mentioned the father leaving for work before 'his children are awake'.... Ooh they quickly erased that from the propaganda, especially with the likes of me wondering who's looking after his children? Ach well, yesterday they took child benefit away from children. Not mine of course, I'm not at £60,000 yet.

Within a decade benefits, all benefits, will be worth nothing. They are worth little now but with rising food, fuel, vat etc etc, you see where I'm going.

Where am I going?
Where are you going?

I hope you're going somewhere good, and not a life of permanent poverty. I'm hope I'm going there too.

P.S Should overweight ministers get a grocery allowance?
P.P.S I know I keep coming back to this but: Is parenting a job?

Note to future employer

If you are reading this then I told you that for the past three years and a little bit, I've been writing a blog.

Judge only the woman in the interview (and not badly;))

This is not me, not anymore.

Do not judge;accept.

This is a casestudy. It is a cyber document about how statutorily homeless people feel, through the eyes of one mother, who felt, who feels (who has to move on...)
There are some tips too, hidden in these depths, on how to cope.

A terrific skill you know, empathy.

Enjoy what you read

but judge me not

I could be anybody, even you.

Listen up ConDems, Parenting is the most important job in the world

I was thinking earlier that this God-forsaking coalition claims a hypocritical belief in Christian values, which is why of course, it is attacking the most vulnerable - Children through their parents, disabled men, women and children.

I wanted them to watch this video from Lorna Byrne and stop attacking mothers, beating them with an iron rod, chasing them into non existant jobs, or jobs that don't pay.

Then this morning, while in the coffee shop, I happen to glance the front page of The Times.

The coalition is going to offer tax breaks to mothers!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So afraid of losing the female vote, they're going to throw money our way!!!

Hang on; wealthy mothers. Only wealthy mothers.

Wealthy working mothers can get a tax break for their cleaners, babysitters, gardeners. They already get a tax break for their nannies. I'm told Council Leader in the playground can put his and his wife's childcare on expenses. Neither of them are fighting to keep our "it's not viable" after school club open.

ALL PARENTING IS THE MOST IMPORTANT JOB IN THE WORLD

HELP NEEDS TO GO TO THE MOST VULNERABLE, NOT BE TAKEN AWAY FROM THEM IN A "WELFARE REFORM" EXERCISE AND GIVEN TO THOSE WHO HAVE MORE THAN ENOUGH.

To just go back to dreamland a minute, I said to He Who Said I Was Hot, that the very job I'd love to outsource would be cleaning. It's a pipedream for a low earner after childcare, school dinners, music lessons, after school clubs. As it is, one of those will have to go...wish it was childcare, I can do that myself.

Help ALL mothers, don't hurt them.

Children feel everything.

The Government is bad for our health

If I have made myself ill it is because the Government has made me ill.
I have tried not to allow it to get to me but it depresses me; makes me angry, gets me pissed off. I can only articulate it on here, it silences me in reality, renders me mute. "I don't like it when you're in your daydream head mummy," says my son. I may go to the Women's Centre and start articulating it there. I told them I'd pop by, when I met them at the lobby.

If I have made myself ill it is because of recurring evictions and a State that can but won't stop this cycle; won't regulate rents or build affordable homes. It's disgusting, disgusting what's going on. Private landlords aren't dropping rents and housing associations are increasing theirs. I know all this because the perk, if you like, of being in a need of housing situation, is that you have access to what social and council properties are available and for how much they are going for.

All this makes me ill.

A government who forces me out to work during a recession, when I have a job already. I'm a childminder, though paid less. Oh, doesn't my child count?

Is motherhood not valued anymore?
Is it a 'non job'?

Is that why lone parents aren't given social housing anymore, because they don't "work"?

This government has put me on ESA, with its damning policies and legislations.

Everytime I get better I get knocked down.

A nation of knocked down people.

I'm no different to a criminal forced to do community service - voluntary work by another name - internships - we won't pay you - and we'll take away the childcare so you have nowhere to outsource your primary occupation - ha ha ha, ha ha ha ha ha haaaaaa.

I love writing this shit.
I could keep writing it, keep writing it if it makes ONE PERSON THINK

I've got to stop thinking though. That's what's got me into my mess, well, according to Louise Hay, according to me.

Angry, pissed off, hurting, hurting hurting hurting

A nation of angry, pissed off, hurting people.

A generation of children living with angry, pissed off, hurting people, bounced from one home to another, overcrowded, cold, in debt.

I wanted to give you a happy ending. Oh! I can't!

"By the time people wake up, the damage will have been done," the Ed said to me.

Yeah...

Read all about it! Read all about it!!

I have to rest now, think of my son.

My son, my sun, my son

I'm blessed, that's the problem isn't it Prime Minister?

In which direction do I go?

Blogging is reflecting my life.

I want to concentrate on healing myself but then go off and read stuff about housing and feel myself get so angry (Clegg saying this weekend he supports the benefits cap.. I take it personally, he met me, he took my details, he said he would help but I can't see how kicking me and other parents, disabled, elderly, in the teeth is helping
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-16671210)

I want to concentrate on healing myself and blog about that. Thousands of other people feel like shit about all kinds of thing, maybe something I might say might make them feel better. Oh I don't know...

I'm obsessed with housing though. I can't help reading about it now there's so much coverage in the press with all these reform bills going through. As you know though, I find it depressing. It hurts. I feel I'm being attacked and I am, benefit recipients are being hit really hard, those in work and those not.

On Sunday, yesterday, I woke up so, so...I don't know, stuck.

I've got angel cards on my bedside table so picked them up and shuffled them. "What can I do? What can I do?

The card I picked was Angel Gabriel, telling me he was with me and to follow the signs.

Signs? What signs?

I continue to blog by instinct then?
I give blogging a rest?
I blog about love?
I blog about housing?
I blog about benefits as a form of defence for others on benefits?
I blog about positive things ONLY
but then where do I put the outside things that drag me down?

At the time the sign was to get out of bed, and given how I feel, that's a mighty good start.
For anyone, not just me.

Jobs in Mind...

It wasn't the mental health charity Mind I had an appointment with yesterday, it was another charity called Jobs in Mind.

My interview ran over which I won't go into here apart from suffice to say, this self elected leader of the I Don't Know party kept saying "I don't know if I want to work, yes I do want to work, no I don't want to work, I do want to do a job that I love that suits my life, I don't want to be forced into looking..."

This charity, I was able to see objectively after about 15 minutes, is amazing actually. They support you back into work. They help with your cv, they help with application forms, they can do mock interviews with you.

For the long term unemployed (and it doesn't take six months to get depressed about it really, so imagine what it's done to me) something like this is a godsend because jobseeking for so many, is soooooooo depressing. To have someone support you without pressurising you into anything, well, I imagine you might pick up some self worth on the way but also have someone who understands your anger and frustration when it's another job you haven't got, another company you haven't heard from.

Sounds great don't you think?

One problem.

In order to access this service you have to have a mental health problem.
In order to access this service you have to be referred by a support worker or social worker.
Apart of me was depressed to even be there.

"I don't want to be like them," I said to the woman.
"Like who?" she answered.
"Like all those depressed people, all those people who can't see a way out, all those people who just feel hopeless about their lives, all those people, well, that feel like I do."

Lucky.

I am lucky.

I am really lucky. 2.7 million unemployed people do not have access to this service although the charity would love to extend its service to 2.7 million people. Funding though ey....

She said she'd be in touch in a couple of days then must have seen my eyebrows shoot up or something because then she said "A couple of weeks" and I breathed closing my eyes.

In an ideal world, I would go from ESA straight into a job. Not from ESA to JSA back to the Big Black Hole which is what I'm frightened will happen now.

Well done Spartacus Report people for getting the Lords to triple defeat the government on timelimiting ESA and benefit rights for disabled people. People I know are very much worse off than me.

Typical this know nothing clueless care-less Government are vowing to overturn it:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/2012/jan/12/welfare-reform-government-reverse-defeat

No idea, none that there is a ton of blood not to mention increasing mental illness attributable to them and their ideological tearing apart of the fabric of our society.

Rising crime is the only way you'll know our country's sinking if politically you stand to the Right. Will those papers report the rest?

I hope so.

Should we put our age on application forms?

It jumped out at me on the Equal Opportunities Monitoring form on my job application:

Age......years.

Oh bollocks.

It's a charity, they won't discriminate but oh bollocks, they might think I'm too old for the role particularly when they look at all my previous experience. My years and years of other experience and then of course years and years of "nothing". It's that "nothing" that gives me a chance...the same chance as an unemployed graduate...who will think someone who's older might get it, someone with more experience.

Then this morning Google won't let Stigmum into blogspot unless she gives her date of birth. What? No! Google wouldn't let us through though.

I had to make it up didn't I? I mean, Google would never believe that Stigmum is over 200 years old. We put that she, I, was just over 100.

The Equal Opportunities Monitoring Form did state: "If you do not answer these questions, it will not effect your application."

That's alright then...

On not being shortlisted

I applied for a job as a Deputy Features Editor on a housing magazine and got a email from the agency dealing with it, that I hadn't been shortlisted. They were sorry to disappoint me.

I emailed back then burst into tears. It was my son's birthday and was feeling fragile as I'd have to move over to jobseeker's allowance the next day. Demoralising, demeaning, desperate Jobseekers. I didn't hear back and to date, haven't applied for a job I'm not capable of doing.

I'm not suggesting you do the same as me, I'm just telling you what I did.


Thanks [Sir],
Despite my ex editor at [Publishing Company] saying I'd be perfect for the job given my past as a journalist and my present as a housing campaigner I knew I wouldn't get this and can't help thinking it's because I'm a single parent so problematic for the role (maybe).
Perhaps it's for the best though. I imagined meeting Grant Shapps, doing the interview for my article then saying ( because I would have to): "Downing Street told me to contact you saying you'd be very interested in what I had to say. Do you remember? Here are the letters...Why did you never reply to them? Will you reply to them now? Off the record if you like."
I will add, I have a good relationship with politicians of all parties because I'm a diplomatic sort! What's also funny about this job is that my pseudonym subscribes to this magazine's website!
Too much to give sometimes ey?!

Thanks for getting back to me and so quickly too.
I will warn you. I am being moved from income support to jobseekers under the government's new legislation. I have to apply for jobs or they will stop my benefits. This means I will possibly (almost certainly) apply for jobs I am not capable of doing so I can write it down in my jsa notebook. I'm really sorry. No-one asks to be in a situation such as mine.

I'm disappointed this didn't work out for me but something else will!

All the best,

Sue de Nim

Everyone's replacable, even Tories

So, the far Right Defence Secretary finally resigned over his best man being his personal advisor.
Quick as a flash he was replaced by the Transport Minsiter.
Similar job isn't it?

The ex Defence Secretary can still keep his job as a minister. Can sit on the back, as opposed to front, bench. Still collect a wage. Do you think he'll get a drop in pay?

What do you think'll happen to that Letbin bloke? Chucking away letters from his colleagues and constituents? Will he get to keep his job?

How people can bring themselves to vote for these people I have no idea. They're all put in "safe seats" so watch them get re-elected in the next round. Uurgh.

To think, I was fired for forgetting one shift. One iddly piddly three hour shift. Fired.
Well, I wasn't told exactly so I resigned, without actually telling.

Then jobs I do go for I'm told I don't have the relevant experience.

It's a problem facing over 1 million unemployed young people.

Different worlds isn't it, that of ministers and that of yours...

Please Sir, will you pay me £1 a day?

How did I lose the Dream Job?
The Dream Job I was given a brief for but no salary?
Because I dared
I dared
I dared
I dared
to ask the boss if he'd pay my phone calls..
Not my broadband just my phone calls..
I was so busy that first week and realised my debt...
"I can't afford to do the job properly otherwise"
No
he said at first
Then only landline calls.
"But you operate from a mobile, lots of companies do"
No
"If I got a smart phone with a £20 sim, that could cover all calls, I could work when I was waiting for my son as he did Kung Fu."
No.
"It would only amount to the equivalent of you paying me £1 a day and hours all for the interests of your company!"
"This isn't working,"

And that was his final words.

"What do you mean?"

Help me out reader.

Where did I go wrong?

Legislating exploitation

I actually had this thought a couple of weeks ago when I was quite happy being exploited.

Started with seeing a picture of Dave standing with some woman from his Work Programme Providers.

I've told you the form a few times but as a reminder, you the taxpayer pay the private company to take on me the trapped on state benefits that you also pay.

It's stepping on the heads of the most vulnerable to achieve economic growth and you the taxpayer are funding that. Twice.

What did someone say on Question Time last night when talking about tax breaks for small and medium businesses. Young people have 'no salary expectations'.

These companies also know they can pay people low salaries because there are another 2.56 million out there who could fill in the role.

It does upset me have to say, alot of Tory ideology does. Maybe its because I have done it all before; worked for nothing glad to have it on my cv.

I'm too old now. Gone my idealism.

Still, I was reminded this morning that the problem is way bigger than the vignettes I give you. Just take a look at this

A whole global racket going on to exploit the cheapest commodity of them all: The Human Being.

I thank the blue sky out of my window and the autumn leaves waving at me.

If you are a lucky person, be thankful you are a lucky person and have a nice day.

Jobseekers Notebook

I had to go and sign on today.

I had to show proof I'd been actively looking for work.

I was pissed off. It's that or depressed isn't it. Maybe I was both.

No buggies on the first floor. Men and women, who knows if they have children or whether they are desperate for a reason to get out of bed in the morning. The Job Centre doesn't qualify as a best reason.

It's reported on the news (BBC). Unemployment has reached its highest level in 17 years with 2.57 million of us out of work (I work.. cleaned my bathroom yesterday or is that not work because the bathroom belongs to me? I cooked a meal too but is that not work because the meal is for my child?)

Just my luck my signing on day is a Thursday. Long time followers know why I don't like Thursdays. Thursday is bidding day, which I do not do because I get suicidal thoughts, which I don't like so don't encourage them.

I hate the jobcentre despite being welcomed by a friend from the Parent Council who works there.

I hate the way we're all judged and I will write more about that because I want to.

Alas, that's my problem too though isn't it? How I write everyday. I can't tell the job centre I do that.

Yesterday on Twitter I asked the whole world if anyone wanted to pay me for writing this heh heh heh.

Well, an anonymous donor paid for the Defence Secretary's "Advisor". An anonymous donor could pay for me. Why not?

Might take the fun out of blogging. Do you think it would?

To encourage me to look for work, I am going to start a new label.

Call it my JSA Notebook. Jobseeker's Allowance Notebook.

I have to fill it in for the job centre...oh it's so depressing, patronising, bollocks, reminder of rejections, no hopes, how what you want doesn't want you and other bollocks.

Will I still write under the work or benefits labels? Yeah, maybe. I never know what I'm going to write do I?

Oh well, to end on a bright note, I went to a focus group afterwards on education (youth unemployment also at record high) and got a £10 book voucher for my trouble and met lots of lovely "White British Low Income" mums and one dad.

We have jobs, why are being forced to Jobseek?

I'm off to hear Lorna Byrne speak!

Hello hello stigs!! Hello to you too person reading this!

My, I've missed blogging but had no time as the Dream Job was keeping me well busy and I was well too tired to blog aswell despite the temptations and urges.

Could have come back to it any old way today as it's been a mighty blog about fortnight.
Support worker came round and said I was.. feck, whatever, I'll remember the word in a minute..
Got a letter from housing benefit saying the payments had stopped because I was no longer in receipt of income support or Jobseekers allowance (I was told if you remember, that it would be a 'smooth transition')
The letter from housing benefit had a new claim form I had to fill in with my whole life in blue or black ink. I was working full time, had my circumstances changed? Yeah! I was working for free not being paid, had my circumstances changed? Um, no! I didn't know what to do but all friends told me not to be honest and say I was working, but tell them nothing at all.
The Dream Job... Well... A week ago last Friday he sent a text saying "It's not working". His cc'd mother replied: "Hunh?" and I replied to all: "Yes, what do you mean?" and am still awaiting his response.
Have I been fired again without being told?
Is this the way with welfare recipients?
If I'm back to blogging I'll fill you in..well about Dream Job at any rate. Still hurting but they say that if things don't work out it's because something better is coming along.
Yeah? Got turned down for a job on a housing magazine on my son's birthday and had to sign over to Jobseekers Allowance the following day.

It's good to cry. So I took my tears to the Church of the Immaculate Conception and said "Thank you for my son" and when I'd stopped crying lit four candles.

Lorna Byrne is in London this evening. You may know her, she's been able to see and communicate with angels all her life and wrote her very beautiful autobiography "Angels in my Hair".

I feel very lucky. She's an incredible woman. I knew she was here tonight but had no sitter and £25 a ticket also seemed excessive (Oh the draught...)

"Maybe it's to pay for the hall," said my mum at the weekend.
I texted my mate Charlie: "Hate to ask but are you free Monday..."

Privileged. That's what the support worker said I was when he closed my homeless household support case. People aren't as privileged as me, he said.

Lorna Byrne will tell us, I'm guessing, through her interview with a journalist, that we all have a guardian angel and that there are millions of unemployed angels all crying out for us to ask them for help.

Yes I am privileged.

We are all privileged

We don't all know that though.

I want to take a more spiritual path from now on. I need to, it's a much happier route the one looking out for positive coincidences (like free Monday night babysitters and a mother who said she'd buy my seminar ticket:)).

I don't know what thrust my blogging will take but quite probably what it says on the tin - single mother on benefit, parasite bleeding the state dry....Which I'm not, we're not..you know that now don't you?

Stigmum drives this

I am just her conduit.

Have a lovely afternoon this blazing hot, blue skied, sunny October afternoon! (Been crazy hasn't it?!)

Embracing the unknown

I've been given a new email address with this new company which is powered by google.
Google is saying I'm signed in as sue and should switch.
Stiggers signs in as Sue.
Does this mean we can't sign in any more?
I've gone onto google to learn about multiple accounts
but I'm going to have to make the switch

The learning process is immediate innit

I've got to come back to you

Cos it's a blog about housing innit?

Here I go...

Embracing the unknown...

(but I'll leave with one more housing post
given it's a blog about housing)

Then I'll log out

Sometimes in life, you have no choice but to go for it, whatever 'it' is...

Eek!!!

A bird in hand....

A bird in hand may turn out to be a Golden Eagle.

I read that somewhere this weekend. I don't know where, sorry!

I thought the dream job was a bird in hand, but this morning I'm not sure.

If it's not, it is a lesson learnt already, that what I want is out there, and it's spurring me to look at money making schemes, or to find out more about writing on the web (ha ha! What am I doing here!! Oh the mirth!!)

Must thank Frankie P, Marjolein and Anon for their comments during this very bumpy moment!

New boss is off tomorrow and I've not been given a brief yet....

Am I on?

I shall leave writing about work until such time as I register self employed.

I'm feeling very que sera sera
Or feeling that I should feel que sera sera
One should always feel que sera sera
and be
POSITIVE

Dream jobs

Dear Universe (late at night)
I want a job. I really want a job that lets me work at home to be there for the boy. I want a challenge as well though. Do I want a challenge? No I want an easy life! Do I want an easy life? No, a challenge, none of that data input lark I can do with my eyes closed or shelf stacking with my soul switched off.

Alright love, you've got it.

Aaaargh!!!

Interview on Wednesday.

The job is editorial on a start-up website
Liaising with web designers to manage the look, feel and content of the page
Writing and updating articles
Recruiting staff
All kinds of stuff!!

A challenge!!
I can work from home!! I can only work from home!!
I can manage my time so I can still take my son swimming and to kungfu and watch the odd class assembly!!
It's progression from what I did before! What I did before baby and life went tits up!

Sounds too good to be true?

Sure!!

It's unpaid, commission only, none expected in the first three months and after that only on my performance. Feck!

I told him I'd let him know this afternoon.

If I take it I won't be able to blog as much.
I will blog, just not often.
Because if I take it....shite!!
What do I do????????
I can't just stare at my computer!!!!!

I guess I call him this afternoon

Eek
Eeek Eeeeek

This is a big risk, this is a huge risk
but do I
have anything
to lose?
Or
do I
go for
it?
!

Work, benefits and dignity

"Are you still working in the pub?" asked the new Lithuanian girl at the coffee shop last Monday morning.
"I don't think so no."
"Oh because [the boss] said if you were working there you could have your coffee for free but if you're not you can't so that will be £1.50 please!"
"Right, why would you tell me that?! Anyway, I was hoping to catch [the landlady]. She comes in here sometimes doesn't she?"
"Yes, they all do..."

And on we talked.

On Thursday I saw the school caretaker who sometimes came into the pub on my shift.
"I wasn't going to go begging for the job back," I said.

And that's what made me upset and angry about the whole thing. I made a mistake and I sent a message apologising, I went round to the pub a couple of times, I left messages, I never heard anything back. Did she want me to beg for the job?

If so I wasn't going to.

Being on benefits chips away at alot of us. Strips away our dignity. It'll be worse on jobseekers, reminded every fortnight of how desperate and futile some of our situations are. You don't need employers to make you feel like that aswell.

"She fired me without telling me," I told the caretaker. "So I quit without telling her."

The job will not go on my cv and fortunately for me, the prospective boss who met me there, didn't ask me about it. Just said: "You look very different to how I remember you when you worked in the pub."
"How so?" I asked, bemused.
"I don't know, maybe your hair was up that day."

Dignity. Those of us on benefits want to preserve what we have, not have it challenged and tested all the time.

Am I making any sense?

Been a long morning and the job centre can have that effect on you.

Putting thoughts out of one's mind

I got a phone call late yesterday afternoon.
"How did you get my number?" I asked the man
"It was on your CV which you sent me."
"Oh yes! It's the wrong address though! I moved, I don't live there anymore! Told you it was an old one...."

I have an interview this afternoon.

"What's it for?" asked Gardening Mum at the school gates.
"I don't know!" I giggled.
"Well you better find out then," she said, with no exclamation mark because she sounded quite serious.
I stopped giggling, she may have a point.

I shall ask him. I know it's something about a website.

I blog at a later date, perhaps tomorrow, perhaps Friday, what I wanted to post about the pub job.

I met this man in the pub!

I can't tell him I've been fired can I? Or shall I? You know, be honest...

Do I mention my insecure, expensive housing situation and any money he pays me will make me worse off financially?

Bugger.

I must empty my mind. Empty it, empty, shake out all that stuff.

I need to close my eyes and make a dash for the other side of the river.

If I fall in, I fall in

best not think about that either.

Eeek! It is quite exciting!!

Joining a housing campaign

Wouldn't you know, yesterday after posting that I was abandoning my cause, I got an email from Defend Council Housing asking if people could join their campaign.

I've been tidying up my house today, in preparation for a fantastic job.

I shall email them back tomorrow.

I like coincidences, they are always full of promise.

A pity there's no payment for I'm not looking foward to signing on every two weeks.

With any luck I won't have to!

Something will come up and come up soon!