Visit to the doctor No 4

Got the wrong day! Doh!!

Dragged my corpse by foot as my limbs wouldn't be able to multitask on a bike, got there and said "Doctor Very Nice please." And they said: "Your appointment's not until next week."

I looked suitably wretched so when I said I thought I might have flu they told me to go upstairs and see the nurse on duty.

My body. Wow! My body! My incredible body!

Temperature: Normal
Blood Pressure: Low
Pulse: Normal
Chest: Clear (Nico Teen has been a constant companion; I cannot eat but I can inhale)
Stomach: Hollow

She said to drink lots of Ribena and flat coke to replace salts in my body and to come back if the squits don't stop. My true appointment is next week so that's good.

She said I might feel pukey and weak limbed and tired for another week. "Oh no!" I said.

"Was it Swine?" I asked. "Maybe," she said. "Usually it comes with a high temperature with two or more symptoms."

A Swine is not a Bug; a Bug is not a Swine. Although of course a Swine is a Bug in Flu Land.

She asked if I had a message for my doctor. "Yes," I said. "Tell her to get me a social worker. I am sick and tired, tired and sick of this housing situation."
"Will do," she said.

I left and lit a cigarette which was nestled in my back pocket then went to the supermarket and bought some satsumas. I have been craving any relative of the Orange family.

I have been sleeping all afternoon, classic fm carrying my dreams. Son is at a playdate at Mum on Whose Shoulder I Dropped My Head. She's bringing him home! Oh to invite her in but flat has been sorely neglected for three days and she might faint if she steps foot in it.

Missing a child's class assembly

"Dear Mummy,
hope that swine -
flu goas
away. I am really x
sad that you can't x
come to my xx
class assembly xxx
lots and lots of xxx
love your son xxxxxxxx

I didn't go. I texted the Foca and asked him to, asked him to take him to Beavers afterwards.
The Foca called, said he would do, but couldn't take him to Beavers as he had to take his other child to the doctor for jabs.

I was gutted to miss it; my son acting out Dr Barnardo. I lay under a blanket watching The Champ on TCM, red hot tears streaming down my cheeks not missing the various ironies.

The Foca was there for my son so even though my boy was sad I wasn't there, he was happy his dad was. I was happy one of us was.

Lots of children do performances at school while their parents can't watch as they are out at work.

If I were best buddies with a policy maker, I would ask that ALL parents have the option to take paid time off work to go to their child's assemblies, sports days, nativities, fun runs, afternoon concerts. It means such an awful lot to the child.

In my mind people do enough overtime that isn't paid, or work tough jobs for such rubbish money, it would all work out in the end.

Childless people might not think it's fair of course, but they don't have to juggle two jobs. Parenting is an emotional, mental minefield. Having to be Bad Cop all the time in order to raise them well, it's nice that such a small act means the world and more to them.

Sometimes I do wish politicians read this...

All the mums are down

My mother calls me this morning. Under no circumstances must I take my son to school. I have to rest, beat this thing.

I go upstairs to ask L's mum if she'll take my boy. She comes to the door. She looks like utter shit. She looks weak and done in and says her throat is killing her.

She has to take her other child to the GP this morning, she also has to take another boy to school, she'll take mine.

I'm dressed and ready to go, I tell her, I'll take them all.

I go along the corridor to N's flat. His stigmum doesn't look quite as shit as L's mum but looks like she could do with going back to bed. She's taken the day off work; works in an international school. Says she can't get a doctor's appointment until Monday.

As luck would have it, I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow. I was going to cancel it to go to my medicinal Bazza's Boot Camp but as luck would have it again, I haven't got round to cancelling it. Good job really, as I'm really not up to any form of exercise.

I float to school, with all three children under my wing, spread the pandemic, spread it.

Well, what choice did any of us have?

(Do I naughty naughty go to my son's class assembly this afternoon? He was crying this morning he so wants me to go...I could sit at the back, rest my head against a window pane....

Let me sleep on it
Baby baby
Let me sleep on it
Let me sleep on it
I'll give you the answer in the avo.... (Meatloaf) )

Oink Oink

Oink Oink
Who's there?
Flu
Flu who?
Flukey high temperature thing with nausea feeling coupled with the runs on top of leaded eyelids that make you want to sleep all day
You swine
Perhaps not. Internet may say so but you have to be properly diagnosed.
I have a child to look after, I can't be having this
Tough titties mamma, I'm a pandemic, now take some paracetamol and take yourself back to bed.

Swine flu II

Weeks ago I said all the poor would die if there was indeed a pandemic. I spoke to son's Headmaster who said if a child got swine flu in the school the rest of the class would be administered Tamiflu. So my earlier posting was wrong. Well, my earlier posting wasn't accurate.
I should have asked Headmaster though why limit it to one class when all the kiddies play and eat together and have plenty of opportunity to pass on the virus but I'm guessing now the school has a plentiful supply and well, I don't want to get on my high horse about all this. Or should I say, my swell swine....(wah wah urrr)

Atishoo atishoo we all fall down

My eyes are burning, my nose is streaming when it's not sneezing. I'm beginning to know what it must be like to suffer from hayfever.
My brain feels like it's been placed in liquid helium. My skull struggles to contain the expanding matter as it freeeeeezes.
It's a common head cold. I think. It's been so long since I had one of those.
"I've got swine flu," I joked to Milly and Ellie at the weekend as my body automatically reflexed to whatever was bugging it over and over again. Didn't feel so funny yesterday, on the Tube. I felt contagious.
I've been making ginger infusions, taking echinacea, chucking paracetamol down my throat, wrapping up warm warm warm as me bones shiver.
It's a flipping head cold but with more cases of flu pronouced on the news last night I will phone the surgery just to make sure....

A A A Tishoooooooo

Swine Flu

OK, I admit that I'm enjoying the jokes. You know the sort, take your oinkment or you'll come out in a rasher.

This is so I do not panic. Sister in law is deputy head of the School That Kicked Me Out, a girl's boarding school. A Mexican student returned after the Easter holiday and was monitored for a week. I asked sister in law what would have happened had she contracted the illness. She replied that the girl would have been placed in isolation and the rest of the school administered Tamiflu.

Now 70% of the population will not get Tamiflu should there be a pandemic. I don't imagine that should a child get swine flu in my son's community school, the drug will be administered to all 400 plus pupils; there are so many such schools in the borough. Does this mean that the rich will survive and the poor will die? Pearl before swine the saying goes.....

Just an observation