See you Stigmum, a song

She could never say where she came from
Yesterday don't matter now it’s gone
While the sun is bright
Or in the darkest night
No one knows
She comes and goes

See you, lovely Stigmum
Who could hang a name on you?
When you change with every blog day
I’m really gonna miss you...

Don't question why she needs to be so free
She’ll tell you it's the only way to be
She just can't be chained
To a life where nothing’s gained
And nothing’s lost
At such a cost

See you, lovely Stigmum
I won’t hang a name on you
When you change with every new day
I’m always going to love you...

There's no time to lose, I’ve heard her say
Catch your dreams before they slip away
Dying all the time
Hold your dreams
She helps to ease my mind.
When life’s unkind

See you, lovely Stigmum
Who could hang a name on you
When you change with every blog day
I’m really going to miss you...

See you, lovely Stigmum
I won’t hang a name on you
When you change with every new day
I’m always going to love you...

(Rolling Stones featuring me though Stiggers is much better at messing up fantastic songs!)

Time to ch ch ch change - Song

I still don't know what I am waiting for
And my time is running wild
A million dead-end streets
Every time I think I've got it made
It seems the taste is not so sweet
So I turn myself to face me
And I’ve caught a nasty glimpse
Of how the others don’t see a faker
Time to give the blog a rest

Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes
Turn and face the pain
Ch-ch-Change it
I want to be a richer mum
Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes
Turn and face the strains
Ch-ch-Changes
Just gonna have to be a different mum
Time has changed me
Now I must trace time

I feel the ripples change their size
But never leave the stream
Of cold impermanence and
So the days float through my eyes
But still the days seem the same
And our children that you spit on
As they try to change their worlds
Are immune to your consultations
We're quite aware of what they're going through

Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes
Turn and face these pains
Ch-ch-Change 'em
Can't tell me to grow up and out of it
Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes
I must face this strain
Ch-ch-Changes
Where's your shame (coalition)
You've left us up to my neck in it
Time must change me
We all can change time

Strange fascination, fascinating me
Changes are taking the pace I'm going through

Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes
Turn and crush the strain
Ch-ch-Changes
Oh, look out we rock 'n rollers
Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes
Rise and beat the strain
Ch-ch-Change it
Pretty soon we're gonna get a little wiser
Time may change me
And I must trace time
I know that I MUST change me
And I MUST find time

(David Bowie featuring Stigmum, my Pretty Thing; only a little messed up, not much!)

Song for a one night stand

This is the song for He Who Said I Was Hot.
It couldn't be for a relationship...it's painful for the one who loves.
I've been listening to PP Arnold's version, it's the one I have, it's so raw, so powerful and it's the lyrics I've copied for you. The song was written by a man, Chip Taylor.
I like this video though because it's not clear who the angel is because it could be either the man or the woman, depending on your experience.

This is Juice Newton's version



There'll be no strings to bind your hands
Not if my love can't bind your heart
and there's no need to take a stand
For it was I who chose a start
I see no need to take me home
I'm old enough to face the dawn

Just call me angel of the morning angel
Just touch my cheek before you leave me baby
Just call me angel of the morning angel
Then slowly turn away from me

Maybe the sun's light will be dim
And it won't matter anyhow
If morning's echoes say we've sinned
Well it was what I wanted now
And if we're victims of the night
I won't be blinded by the light
Just call me angel of the morning angel
Just touch my cheek before you leave me baby
Just call me angel of the morning angel
Then slowly turn away
I won't beg you to stay
with me
Through the tears of the day, of the years
baby baby baby

Just call me angel of the morning angel
Just touch my cheek before you leave me baby
Just call me angel of the morning angel
Just touch my cheek before you leave me darling
Just call me angel of the morning baby
Just touch my cheek before you leave me darling

I've been playing this song all week while I write this label. Every morning, track 15 on my 'Feeling Good cd'
It has been better to think about sex than, well, most things actually!
It is better to think about love than it is about fear.

I had a really good experience with my one night stand, he had a good one with me and I hope you have a good one with yours.

Thanks PP Arnold.

Let Me Bring You Down Today - Song

Don't look at me

Every day is not wonderful
Suddenly so hard to breathe
Now and then I get insecure
From all the pain, feel so ashamed

I’m not beautiful no matter what you say
Words can bring me down
I’m not beautiful in any single way
Yes, words can bring me down, oh yes
So let me bring you down today

To all my friends I’m not delirious
Not consumed in all my doom
Tryin' hard to blog the emptiness, the peace is gone
Left the puzzle undone, ain't that the way it is?

'Cause you’re not beautiful no matter what they say
Words can bring you down, oh yeah
You aren’t beautiful in any single way
Yes, blogs can bring you down, oh yeah

Let me bring you down today

No matter what we do
No matter what we do
(No matter what we say)
No matter what we say
(We're the song that's outta tune)
(Full of trashing mistakes)

(And everywhere we go)
And everywhere we go
(The sun will never shine)
The sun will never, never shine!
(But tomorrow we might awake on the other side)

'Cause we are beautiful no matter what I say
Yes, words will bring us down, oh yeah
You are beautiful in every single way
Yes, blogs can bring you down, oh yeah
So let me bring you down today
Let me bring you down today
Let me bring you down today

(Christina Aguilera featuring Stigmum. This song's been on the radio alot recently so I'd just like to say, if you are a self hater, please befriend yourself, you need to know one person on your side oh and listen to the original)

The past comes haunting - song

Half past three
And I'm watching my past show in my bed all alone
How the memories come crashing on my own
Autumn winds
Blowing outside my window as I look around the room
And it makes me so depressed to feel the gloom
Is there a soul out there
Someone to hear my praaaaaaaaaaayers

Gimme gimme gimme some peace after midnight
Won't somebody help me chase the shadows away
Gimme gimme gimme some peace after midnight
Take me through the darkness to the break of the day

All my friends
Found the end of the rainbow, with happiness to win
It's so different from the world I'm living in
Tired of my view
I can’t open the window and gaze into the night
for there's darkness there to see, just ghouls in sight
Is there a soul out there
Someone to hear my praaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayers

Gimme gimme gimme some peace after midnight
Won't somebody help me chase the shadows away
Gimme gimme gimme some peace after midnight
Take me through the darkness to the break of the day
Gimme gimme gimme some peace after midnight
Won't somebody help me chase the shadows away
Gimme gimme gimme some peace after midnight
Take me through the darkness to the break of the day

(oh the beautiful instrumental)

(Abba featuring Stigmum)

The tune if you want to sing along...

Hoping my idea's developing - a song

Once I believed that when ideas came to me
They would come with plans and answers quick(er)ly
But with homeless you
it just started quietly and grew
And believe it or not
Now there's something groovy and good
'Bout whatever I got

And it's getting better
Growing stronger warm and wiser
Getting better everyday, better every day?

I do feel quite turned on and starry eyed
And I feel a calm contentment deep inside
Holding dreams at night just seems kind of natural and right
If it works you will see
That it isn't half of what it's going to turn out to be

My idea’s getting better
Growing stronger, warm and wiser
Getting better everyday, better everyday?

Ba da da da da da da da da da da da

And I don't mind waitin', do I mind waitin?
'Cause no matter how long it takes
That deep down I know
My idea’s getting better
Growing stronger, warm and wiser
Getting better everyday, better everyday

I hope it's getting strong
I really hope it's getting strong
I hope it's getting strong
I really hope it's getting strong....

(Mama Cass featuring Stigmum)

and now with accompanying music you can hear....!

I am too, I said to Neil

London's fine, sunshine most of the time (ahem)
The feeling is laid back (ish)
Oak trees grow and the rents aren't low
But you know I keep thinking about
Making my way aaagh

Well, I'm of Shires born and raised
But nowadays, I'm lost between two shores
London's fine, but it ain't home
Shires are home but it ain't mine no more

I am, I said
To no one there
And no one heard at all
Not even the chair
I am, I cried
I am, said I
And I am lost, and I can't even say why
Leavin' me lonely still

Did you ever read about a frog who dreamed of being a queen
And then became one
Well, except for the names and a few other changes
If you talk about me, the dream's the same one

But I got an emptiness deep inside
And I've tried but it won't let me go
And I'm not a girl who likes to swear (much)
But I've never cared for the sound of being alone

I am, I said
To no one there
And no one heard at all
Not even the chair
I am, I cried
I am, said I
And I am lost, and I can't even say why

I am, I said
I am, I cried
I am...

(Neil featuring Stiggers.. Must say Neil, the guy who was you in Brother Love's Travelling Salvation Show this Easter, really was you!! Unbelievable, how you materialised!! The rhythm and blues accompanying you, and me too! Wild!)

Misery blogs - A song

It's my blog, and I will moan if I want to
moan if I want to, moan if I want to
You might moan too if shit happened to you

Nobody knows where my humour has gone
My smile it left the same time
I know I’m feeling so glum
So come to blogspot to whi i ine?

It's my blog, and I will moan if I want to
moan if I want to, moan if I want to
You might moan too if shit happened to you

Writing my records, keep thinking all night
Won’t leave me alone for a while
Folk you can tune out from me,
I give no reason to smi i ile

It's my blog, and I will moan if I want to
moan if I want to, moan if I want to
You might moan too if shit happened to you

Me and myself we just write through our thoughts
Who knows who feels the same way
Out than in is better they say
To keep the blues at ba a ay

It's my blog, and I will moan if I want to
moan if I want to, moan if I want to
You can moan too if shit happens to you

It’s my blog and I’ll moan if I want to
Moan if I want to yeah moan moan moan moan
You can moan too if it makes you feeeeeel
Oh yeah yeah yeah yeah feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeel
better

(Lesley Gore featuring Stigmum)

If at first you don't succeed, don't give up hoping!

I am so happy! I am so excited!! This very morning, having asked fellow bloggers in the past how the hell they put youtube vids on their posts, I've finally figured it out!!!!!!

Been blogging two years, messing up songs you could sing along to and it's today, I don't know, by accident, pressing the wrong tab on my computer, which opened another window and gave me the answer to what I desperately wanted to know.

Here, for you, if you're on blogspot and you don't know how:

Embedding a YouTube Video
To embed a video from YouTube, just copy the code from the "Embed" box on the video's YouTube page. You can find the "Embed" box in the "About This Video" box when you're watching the video. You can also get the code from the "Embed HTML" box on the "Edit Video" page if the video belongs to your YouTube account.

To embed a YouTube video within a blog post, first click "Edit HTML" from within the post editor. Next, paste the video's code into the body of your post. That's it!

That's all it was!
I'd put another song up but I can't think of one, I'm still listening to Jacko on repeat...!

Shot from the heart...

Attic Flat
16 February 2011

Dear Grant Shapps MP,

Downing Street suggested I contact you which I did (letter enclosed) but you never got back to me.

Mr Shapps, if you and your Government press ahead with your housing legislations, you will wreck the lives of millions of people.

For your information, my son and I didn’t get a council flat. There is a drastic shortage, nationally. We were placed, once again, in temporary accommodation, with a shorter two year lease this time and a weekly rent of £350 a week which I can’t afford. I do not have your wealth Mr Shapps. Millions of people do not have your wealth. Must we be penalised therefore and made to suffer?

Help me understand this legislation you are desperate to push through.

Do you wish to drive people out of their communities as my son and I were driven out of ours?

Is it your desire to create ghettos where we, the financially challenged must live, while you, the financially secure, live in protected communities?

Is it your desire that people remain in poverty? Or in debt?

Do you care about people’s health? Children’s education? These things are married to housing, the most basic need of all.

There is no need to make these drastic cuts to this basic human necessity which has already been neglected for decades.

The money is there to invest in housing, which in turn will create jobs. It will enable people such as me, the “unemployed” to afford work without recourse to housing benefit or threat of rent arrears and eviction. Well, one hopes that rents will remain affordable within the social sector.

You and your Government know all this. You can stop and think about what you are doing.

Will you stop and think about what you are doing?

I need to know what you really think of financially challenged people like me, the elderly, the disabled and children.

Please answer me this time and soon, before you make the changes.

Yours sincerely

If First Class is what it used to be, he'd have got this yesterday. If it's not, and I didn't pay the £5 ensured next day delivery, then he'll have got it today.

I've been listening to Jacko's Earth Song on repeat. It's a climate song for sure, but the power of it makes me think of the political climate too.
It's lovely, have a listen:



YAY!!! FINALLY!! TWO YEARS BLOGGING AND I'VE FINALLY FIGURED OUT HOW TO PUT ON A YOUTUBE LINK!
WOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Relationship struggles - a song

Try to blog it my way
What have I to keep on writing so I can go on?
While you see it your way,
Run the risk of knowing that our blog may soon be gone.

We can work it out,
We can work it out.

Think of what you're saying.
You can get it wrong and still you think that it's all right.
Think of what I'm saying,
We can work it out and get it straight, or say good night.

We can work it out
We can work it out

Life is very short, and there's no time
For fussing and fighting, my friend.
I have always thought that it's a crime,
So I will ask you once again.

Try to blog it my way,
Only time will tell if I am right or I am wrong.
While you see it your way
There's a chance that we might fall apart before too long.

We can work it out,
We can work it out.

Life is very short, and there's no time
For fussing and fighting, my friend.
I have always thought that it's a crime,
So I will ask you once again.

Try to blog it my way,
Only time will tell if I am right or I am wrong.
While you see it your way
There's a chance that we might fall apart before too long.
We can work it out,
We can work it out.

(Beatles featuring me and Stigmum, barely tweaked and also can't tell who's who between me and stigs, we want different things but hopefully we'll erm, sort ourselves out in no time! Also, still haven't figured out how to put the Youtube vid of the original on the post, which means you could sing along if you wanted to!)

Blogging writing confusions - a song

Stigmum!
Keep goin' stranger! (Desperately seeking Susan)

And you can write
For inspiration
Come on
No-one’s waiting

Get into your groove
You don’t have to prove
anything to me, yeah
Get up on your feat, yeah
tap keys to your beat
Post whatever will be

Writing can be such a revelation
Reaching your soul to feel a sweet sensation
It might flow natural if the rhythm's right
Though it can jar and make you feel so tight

Only when I'm writing can I feel this free
By day I open doors, where everyone can see
I'm tired of writing here all by myself
Today I wanna chat with someone else

Get into your groove
You don’t have to prove
anything to me, yeah
Get up on your feet, yeah
tap keys to your beat
Post whatever will be

Blogging gets to know you in a special way
This doesn't happen to me every day
You can hide it if you need disguise
But tell the truth there is no point in lies

Only when I'm writing can I feel this free
By day I open doors, where everyone can see
I'm tired of writing here all by myself
Today I wanna chat with someone else

Get into your groove
You don’t have to prove
anything to me, yeah
Get up on your feat, yeah
tap keys to your beat
Post whatever will be

Live out your fantasy here with bloggy
Just let the writing set you free
Touch your keyboard, and move in time
And know you’ll be fine
And know you’ll be fine
And know you’ll be fine
And know you’ll be fine

You got to
Get into your groove!
You've nothing to prove!
Just chill and see!

(Madonna featuring Stigmum)

Dumping Nico Teen - a song

Keep me hanging on....
Set me free why don't you babe
Get out my life why don't you babe
Cos I don't really love you
You just keep me hangin' on

(thrash drums)

Set me free why don't you babe
Get out my life why don't you babe ooooooh
Cos I don't really need you
You just keep me hanging on

Why do you keep coming around and playing with my heart
Why don't you get out of my life
And let me make a brand new start
Let me get over you
The way you couldn't care about me ye-eah

Set me free why don't you babe
Get out my life why don't you babe
Cos I don't really love you
You just keep me hangin' on

No I don't really need you
You just keep me
hanging on

You say although we'll break up
You still want to be friends
But how can you still be a friend
When seeing you only breaks my will agaaaaaaaaaain
(and there's something I can do about it!)

Woh oh woh oh woh oh....thrash dem drums... Woh oh woh oh woh oh yeah!

Get out get out of my life
and let me sleep at night
Cos I don't really love you
You just keep me hanging on

You make out you still care for me
but my heart and soul needs to be free
and now that I can taste my freedom
you want to still hold on to me
you just want me for yourself
but let me find something e-else

Set me free why don't you babe
Get out my life why don't you babe
Cos I don't really love you
You just keep me hanging on

Why don't you be human about it
and set me free
Now you don't care a thing about me
You're just using me
I'm just using you
GET OUT
GET OUT OF MY LIFE
AND LET ME SLEEP AT NIGHT
Cos I don't really love you
You just keep me
hanging on

(Kim Wilde featuring Stigmum)

Spending time with Stigmum - a song

You do something to meeeee
For my heart is so true
And I live just for yoooooou!
Yes, you dooo something to meeeeee
Tha-at nobody else
Tha-at nobody else
Tha-at nobody else can do

You do something to meeeeeee
For my heart is so true
And I live just for yooooou!
Yes, you do something to meeeeeee
Tha-at nobody else tha-at nobody else tha-at nobody else can do

Everything you say, everything you do,
Makes me want to fall, fall in love, fall in love with yoooooou

You do something to meeeeeee
For my heart is so true
And I live just for you!
Yes, you do something to meeeeee
Tha-at nobody else
Tha-at nobody else
Tha-at nobody else can do

Everything you say, everything you do,
Makes me want to fall, fall in love, fall in love with yoooooooooou
You do something to meeeeeeeeeee
That nobody else
That nobody else
That nobody else can do
Can dooooooooooooooooooo

(Kinks featuring me, stiggers is the one who's (quite) good at messing songs up!)

Stigmum and me - a song

It's now time to make a change,
Just relax, take it easy.
You're still young, that's your fault,
There's so much you have to know.
Find a man settle down,
If you want you can marry.
Look at me, I am old, but I'm happy.

I was once like you are now, and I know that it's not easy,
To be calm when you've found something going on.
But take your time, think a lot,
Why, think of everything you've got
For you will still be here tomorrow,
but your dreams may not.

How can I try to explain, when I do I'm turned away again.
It's always been the same, same old story.
From the moment I could talk I was ordered to listen.
Now there's a way and I know that I have to go away.
I know I have to go.

It's now time to make a change,
Just sit down, take it slowly.
You're still young, that's your fault,
There's so much you have to go through.
Find a man, settle down, if you want you can marry.
Look at me, I am old, but I'm happy.

All the times that I cried, keeping all the things I knew inside,
It's hard, but it's harder to ignore it.
If they were right, I'd agree, but it's them who won not me.
Now there's a way and I know that I have to go away.
I know I have to go.

(Cat Stevens featuring Stigmum and me) The next song on the cd is Morning Has Broken and the song after that is Wild World which stiggers sang to me after I met Nick Clegg! Que sera sera ey Doris, que sera sera!

Finding some control - a song

My back's against the wall,
there’s no-one home to call,
I’m forgetting who I am
I can't stop raging

It's part not giving in
and part trusting my life
Can't do it all again and I'm not lying
oh oo oh oo oh oo oh oh oo oh oo oh oo oh

Standing in the way in control
yeah live my life
survive the only way that I know, know

I'm fighting this for us
because its easier to lose
and it's hard to face the truth
when you think your dying

It's part not giving in
and it's part trusting my life
Can’t do it all again but I don't stop trying
oh oo oh oo oh oo oh oh oo oh oo oh oo oh

Standing in the way in control
yeah live my life
survive the only way that I know, know
oh oo oh oo oh oo oh oh oo oh oo oh oo oh

Standing in the way of control
I live my life
Because I'm standing in the way of control
I will live my life
Because I'm standing in the way of control
I will live my life
Because I'm standing in the way of control
I must change my life life ohh oo
oh hey yeah yeah yeah

My back's against the wall,
there’s no-one home to call,
I’m forgetting who I am
I can't stop raging

it's part not giving in
and part trusting my life
Can't do it all again
I can’t stop trying
oh oo oh oo oh oh oo oh oo oh oh oo oh oo oh

Standing in the way in control
yeah live my life
survive the only way that I know, know

(Gossip, featuring Stigmum)

Hanging on - a song

Don't give up on me Stigmum
Don't make the wrong seem right
The future isn't just one night
It’s written in the moonlight?
Painted on the stars?
Can we change ours?

Don't give up on me stigmum
It’s still worth one more try
I know I put our last one by
It was a rainy evening
When all the stars were few
Don't give up me stigmum, we can still come through

I really lost my head last night
I've got a right to stop believing
There's still a little hope left, even so

Don't give up on me stigmum
Lord knows we've come this far
Can't we stay the way we are?
The angel and the dreamer
Who always play the fool
Don't give up on me, I know
We can still come through

It’s written in the moonlight?
Painted on the stars?
Can we change ours?

Don't give up on me stigmum
It’s still worth one more try
I know I put the last one by
It was a rainy evening
When all stars were few
Don't give up on me, I know
We can still come through

Don't give up on me stigmum
Don't give up on me stigmum

(David Soul featuring The Blogger)

Waiting for the eviction order - a song

Two hundred years and my life is still
Trying to get up that great big hill of hope
For a destination
I realized quickly though it does no good
That the world is made up of this brotherhood of man
For whatever that means

And so I cry sometimes
When I'm lying in bed
Just to get it all out
What's in my head
And I am feeling a little peculiar

And so I wake in the morning
And I step outside
And I take a deep breath and I get real high
And I scream at the top of my lungs
WHAT'S GOING ON?

And I say, hey hey hey hey hey hey hey
I said HEY, what's going on?
And I say, hey hey hey hey hey hey hey
I said HEY, WHAT'S GOING ON?
Ooh, ooh ooh (Nico Teen Nico Teen Nico Teen in this long instrumental)

And I try, oh my God do I try
I try all the time, in this institution
And I pray, oh my God do I pray
I pray every single day
For a revolution

And so I blog sometimes
Of the things I dread
Just to get it all out
What's in my head
And I am feeling a little peculiar

And so I write in the morning
While I sit inside
And I take a deep breath and I get real high
And I scream at the top of my lungs
WHAT'S GOING ON?

And I say, hey hey hey hey hey hey hey
I said HEY, what's going on?
And I say, hey hey hey hey hey hey hey
I said HEY, WHAT'S GOING ON?
(over and over and over and over)

Two hundred years and my life is still
Trying to get up that great big hill of hope
For a destination
(4 Non Blondes featuring Stigmum who has barely tweaked the lyrics because they are EXACTLY HOW SHE FEELS.)

Living on a prayer - a song

Son he used to play with his blocks
Housework’s been on strike
He's down on his luck...it's tough, so tough

Stiggers worries problems all day
Writing for her boy, she brings home no pay
For love - for love
She says: We've got to hold on to dreams we've got
It makes a little difference
If we make it or not
We've got each other and that's a lot
For love - we'll give all a shot

Oh we're nearly there
Oh oh livin' on a prayer
Take my hand, we'll make it - I swear
Oh oh livin' on a prayer

Son he’s got his feelings in stock
Now he's holding in what he used
To make it talk - so tough, it's tough
Stiggers dreams of running away
When she cries in the night
Son he whispers: Mamma it's okay, someday

We've got to hold on to dreams we've got
It makes a little difference
If we make it or not
We've got each other and that's a lot
For love - we'll give all a shot

Oh we're nearly there
Oh oh livin' on a prayer
Take my hand, we'll make it - I swear
Oh oh livin' on a prayer
Livin’ on a pra a ayer

(lots of headbanging during instrumental)

Oooh we've got to hold on ready or not
We live for the fight when it's all that we've got
Woh we're nearly there
Woh oh livin' on a prayer
Take my hand and we'll make it - I swear
Woh oh livin' on a prayer
Wooh oh....

(Bon Jovi featuring Stigmum)

My son is home!

Ding dong my son is home, my son is home, my son is home
Ding dong my lovely son is home!
(Wizard of Oz featuring Stigmum)

He arrived just when I finished posting yesterday. Oh how tight, how tight, how tight the hug!
Ten minutes later how painful the tears when he discovered I'd enrolled him in an art workshop and that was what he was doing in an hour or so.

He refused to go. I didn't want him to go either. The timing was just completely wrong.

I said we'd go down and tell them he wouldn't be doing it but he would go along the next day.

Oh the tears, more tears.

I tried blowing rasberries on his stomach and he said "Don't think doing that will make me change my mind." I told him I was doing that because I'd been desperate to do that.

I cycled him down to the workshop, without a packed lunch, to prove to him I wouldn't force him to go.

While we were there he discovered the children were going to draw outlines of each others bodies later that afternoon and walk on the heath today to find nature, with which to make a collage.

As we left and I put him on his bike seat he said: "Can I go there after lunch mummy?"

He went and had a great time.

I am so glad he is back with me.

I love you my son, my sun xxx