When I was nineteen, n-n-n nineteen I was debating with my dad one night. A Tory, we just didn't see eye to eye.
"C'est bon d'etre Socialiste quand on est jeune," he'd said. "C'est bon d'avoir espoir. Mais quand tu grandit, c'est les Conservateurs pour qui tu doit voter. Ils sont les travailleurs, les socialistes sont les jouers."
(The long and the short of that is that it's good to dream and hope when you are young but get your act together when you are older. Conservatives are 'workers', Socialists are 'players' he was saying)
We still chew the political cud, my dad and I, but he's no longer so strong.
I don't oft post about my family. There is so much mileage within families for writers you could go around the world for 80 years.
This weekend I told my dad I was self elected leader of the "I Don't Know Party".
He laughed.
Monday, 5 October 2009
Snow White and the Seven.....
Quite a surprise as I come out of the lift to take my son to school. Seven police officers are coming out of two vans and coming up to the door.
"You'll have to tell me what it's about," I say to the Good Caretaker as I let them in.
"We don't know yet," says a police officer.
Likely story, I think to myself.
They are gone when I return. "Don't worry, they weren't for you," says the Good Caretaker with laughter in his eyes.
"Who for then? Why were they here?"
"Oh a man upstairs, I don't know why."
"Seven policemen for one person?"
"Well you never know these days, they might have dogs.." and he carries on chatting abit about the assault on officers in the past.
"They weren't wearing riot gear," I say (for here at Papier Mache Towers, that is not an uncommon occurence)
"No, it was probably nothing," says Good Caretaker and I leap fairy like into the lift (ok that bit's not true, just taking abit of creative licence...)
The Good Caretaker was right to put me at ease however as I did get swept away by a fantasy during this morning run.
I imagined I would come home and see my door bashed down then charged with domestic disorder. I rather hoped they would stay and tidy up, then thought of Snow White in the little cottage she found. She had help, but no, the Dwarves didn't help her initially. It was birds and squirrels and deer, not pigs ho ho ho!
"You'll have to tell me what it's about," I say to the Good Caretaker as I let them in.
"We don't know yet," says a police officer.
Likely story, I think to myself.
They are gone when I return. "Don't worry, they weren't for you," says the Good Caretaker with laughter in his eyes.
"Who for then? Why were they here?"
"Oh a man upstairs, I don't know why."
"Seven policemen for one person?"
"Well you never know these days, they might have dogs.." and he carries on chatting abit about the assault on officers in the past.
"They weren't wearing riot gear," I say (for here at Papier Mache Towers, that is not an uncommon occurence)
"No, it was probably nothing," says Good Caretaker and I leap fairy like into the lift (ok that bit's not true, just taking abit of creative licence...)
The Good Caretaker was right to put me at ease however as I did get swept away by a fantasy during this morning run.
I imagined I would come home and see my door bashed down then charged with domestic disorder. I rather hoped they would stay and tidy up, then thought of Snow White in the little cottage she found. She had help, but no, the Dwarves didn't help her initially. It was birds and squirrels and deer, not pigs ho ho ho!
Friday, 2 October 2009
Mad ideas that aren't mad but are mad
I've just emailed the Sun, to ask them if they would do a poll to see how many of their readers DO NOT KNOW who to vote for at the next election. Well, it is Britain's largest selling newspaper. It felt like the right thing to do....
I asked them to let me know if they do it because I don't buy newspapers that often at the moment but then realised of course, that if I'm not buying newspapers then I don't know if they already have, tumbling straight into one of their columnist's comments that I am one of the 'skint and dim'....
Oh well, Stigmum's fault. She just can't keep flipping still...
I asked them to let me know if they do it because I don't buy newspapers that often at the moment but then realised of course, that if I'm not buying newspapers then I don't know if they already have, tumbling straight into one of their columnist's comments that I am one of the 'skint and dim'....
Oh well, Stigmum's fault. She just can't keep flipping still...
I wouldn't have minded a call.....
Missed call from support worker this morning while I was at the school's annual School Association meeting. I was busy accepting praise for raising so much money as Queen of Tarts and also sticking my hand up saying I'd be happy to be a Committee Member (Registered charity, you know, my son's School Association, I'd forgotten..)
I was also reminded that the first Class Tea is next week! Eek! Best get my skates on!!
I texted support worker afterwards: "Was it you who called?"
"Yeah"
"I was in a school meeting, you can call now...."
Haven't heard a dicky bird and that was two hours ago.
I can't be arsed to text again, I've got to find all the posters and letter templates and start organising next week's big scoff. My son's class - must dig out the recipe for Nigella's mouth watering chocolate fudge cake once again! Well I did say it's the one that raises the most cash...
I was also reminded that the first Class Tea is next week! Eek! Best get my skates on!!
I texted support worker afterwards: "Was it you who called?"
"Yeah"
"I was in a school meeting, you can call now...."
Haven't heard a dicky bird and that was two hours ago.
I can't be arsed to text again, I've got to find all the posters and letter templates and start organising next week's big scoff. My son's class - must dig out the recipe for Nigella's mouth watering chocolate fudge cake once again! Well I did say it's the one that raises the most cash...
Confessionals
I was perusing my blog last night after posting how energised I was feeling that morning. Bloody hell! It's all fear, paranoia, anxiety, anger, very 'antichrist' like thoughts (the film I went to see about grief and pain....) particularly under the 'housing - government and council' label.
It's like a flipping confessional! What I realised though in that grey darkness of mid night tea time, was that when I go out, whereever, I push all those feelings aside. I have to or I will isolate myself more than I already have done. I cleanse, tone, moisturise my face, little bit of mascara, little bit of lip gloss, a few drops of Rescue Remedy under my tongue, and I'm off!
But these feelings, sometimes I think I'm carrying all the voices of all the families I met when doing my Masters research, these feelings have to come out somewhere and they come out here!
(No there shouldn't be an exclamation mark but Stigmum shoved that in)
So yeah, I did say 'follow me if you have the stomach for it' and I don't blame you if you don't, for I'm having trouble following me...
I am in a dark place, housing wise, but it comes in waves. Stigmum in the hostel, she said that to me: "Comes in waves" so I'm not the only one. There is value somewhere in sharing all this.
Dishy Shrink told me to ring the clinical psychologist I missed my appointment with and see if I could get an appointment. He said it was unlikely, but to try. I tried and as you know, I'm going for that 2nd assessment in a couple of weeks.
Always look on the bright side of life ey? (Monty Python)
But I have to tell you I also had a wierd dream last night. You can picture the scene by the song that accompanied it:
The owl and the stigmum went to sea
In a terribly rusty boat
The owl said to the stigmum listen to me
Don't drown you've got to float
I was clinging onto the sides in a cracking storm. The owl was a tawny one.
It's like a flipping confessional! What I realised though in that grey darkness of mid night tea time, was that when I go out, whereever, I push all those feelings aside. I have to or I will isolate myself more than I already have done. I cleanse, tone, moisturise my face, little bit of mascara, little bit of lip gloss, a few drops of Rescue Remedy under my tongue, and I'm off!
But these feelings, sometimes I think I'm carrying all the voices of all the families I met when doing my Masters research, these feelings have to come out somewhere and they come out here!
(No there shouldn't be an exclamation mark but Stigmum shoved that in)
So yeah, I did say 'follow me if you have the stomach for it' and I don't blame you if you don't, for I'm having trouble following me...
I am in a dark place, housing wise, but it comes in waves. Stigmum in the hostel, she said that to me: "Comes in waves" so I'm not the only one. There is value somewhere in sharing all this.
Dishy Shrink told me to ring the clinical psychologist I missed my appointment with and see if I could get an appointment. He said it was unlikely, but to try. I tried and as you know, I'm going for that 2nd assessment in a couple of weeks.
Always look on the bright side of life ey? (Monty Python)
But I have to tell you I also had a wierd dream last night. You can picture the scene by the song that accompanied it:
The owl and the stigmum went to sea
In a terribly rusty boat
The owl said to the stigmum listen to me
Don't drown you've got to float
I was clinging onto the sides in a cracking storm. The owl was a tawny one.
Thursday, 1 October 2009
Housing questionaire....
It's bidding day, so I duly go to the website to bid, but before I am able to, there is a survey they'd like me to fill in.
1. How well do you understand how council and housing association homes are allocated in Camden? Fully? Partly? Not at all? I pick c) Not at all.
2. Do you think that the way we allocate homes is fair? Very Fair? Fair? Unfair? Very Unfair? I'm thinking 'very unfair' but I pick 'unfair'.
3. How do you think we can allocate homes more fairly? By taking into account peoples individual needs. As a lone parent with one child I feel mine and my child's are completely ignored.
4. Would you like to see an allocation system that helps people move from Camden to other London boroughs and outside of London? Yes? No? I personally don't think the choices are fair because some may want to move out but I have to go with how I feel so say NO. I have a sinking feeling that when the results come out they'll say most respondents said YES. I'll never know if this is true.
5. Could the Council be doing more to explain our allocations scheme? Yes? No? Yes
If yes, how would you like us to do this? Define 'exceptional' needs and housing people at the Council's 'discretion'.(I should have added why are people housed who have waited less time than me, raised all the crap I've been raising the last 3 weeks. oh well)
I had to agree to its terms and conditions. "If you can be identified from the information you give us, we will need your consent to collect and use your information before we:
Share with the public, voluntary agencies and community groups.
Consult with you....
Help to improve our communities...
Of course I can be identified, it was punching in my prison number that flagged up the survey in the first place. Consult with me? I'd like to see that...
Oh and there was nothing for me to bid on. Three out of six properties were council, and the street property in south Camden I just felt too far a schlep from the boy's school. I'd never get it anyway. I saw the flats in the tower had gone, one for 420 odd points, the other didn't say and I just felt an ache. Another flat I bid on has been "Withdrawn". For who? Why? Oh the questions they will not answer....
1. How well do you understand how council and housing association homes are allocated in Camden? Fully? Partly? Not at all? I pick c) Not at all.
2. Do you think that the way we allocate homes is fair? Very Fair? Fair? Unfair? Very Unfair? I'm thinking 'very unfair' but I pick 'unfair'.
3. How do you think we can allocate homes more fairly? By taking into account peoples individual needs. As a lone parent with one child I feel mine and my child's are completely ignored.
4. Would you like to see an allocation system that helps people move from Camden to other London boroughs and outside of London? Yes? No? I personally don't think the choices are fair because some may want to move out but I have to go with how I feel so say NO. I have a sinking feeling that when the results come out they'll say most respondents said YES. I'll never know if this is true.
5. Could the Council be doing more to explain our allocations scheme? Yes? No? Yes
If yes, how would you like us to do this? Define 'exceptional' needs and housing people at the Council's 'discretion'.(I should have added why are people housed who have waited less time than me, raised all the crap I've been raising the last 3 weeks. oh well)
I had to agree to its terms and conditions. "If you can be identified from the information you give us, we will need your consent to collect and use your information before we:
Share with the public, voluntary agencies and community groups.
Consult with you....
Help to improve our communities...
Of course I can be identified, it was punching in my prison number that flagged up the survey in the first place. Consult with me? I'd like to see that...
Oh and there was nothing for me to bid on. Three out of six properties were council, and the street property in south Camden I just felt too far a schlep from the boy's school. I'd never get it anyway. I saw the flats in the tower had gone, one for 420 odd points, the other didn't say and I just felt an ache. Another flat I bid on has been "Withdrawn". For who? Why? Oh the questions they will not answer....
The end of participatory appraisal?
Today was our last participatory appraisal meeting for the work we did for the Safeguarding Children Board. I almost didn't want to go because I don't want it to end so good it's been.
It was great to see everyone, so wholly crap I am at keeping in touch with them. We were there to amend or add to the 'Stakeholders' opinions we retrieved for the report that's been written up. Our man from God's Own Country said my parent's perspective was good, which was good! I told him not to put my name to it, though now thinking why would I do that if I want a job one day? Durr.
What's been very cool about this research is that if the policy deciders didn't know how to resolve a problem, like people's fear of the police or social workers for example, we made them think about it. Change might come about from all this, in Camden anyway. I still find it so flipping exciting.
Like our Leader said "It's not about money, there's a huge gap in our society and the more we can enable that bridge to be gapped, the better our society will be."
Top isn't it? What people like you and me think of services and what those service providers think of their own. Then change, change, change....
They put a lovely spread on for lunch, and I duly stuffed myself, then we were asked if any of us wanted to go to the Town Hall in a few weeks to present the report to the people we interviewed. I said I would. Yep, yesterday I was lying on a sofa with burning eyelids, today I was feeling energised. Ah housing housing, rid me of the housing housing once and for all.....
It was great to see everyone, so wholly crap I am at keeping in touch with them. We were there to amend or add to the 'Stakeholders' opinions we retrieved for the report that's been written up. Our man from God's Own Country said my parent's perspective was good, which was good! I told him not to put my name to it, though now thinking why would I do that if I want a job one day? Durr.
What's been very cool about this research is that if the policy deciders didn't know how to resolve a problem, like people's fear of the police or social workers for example, we made them think about it. Change might come about from all this, in Camden anyway. I still find it so flipping exciting.
Like our Leader said "It's not about money, there's a huge gap in our society and the more we can enable that bridge to be gapped, the better our society will be."
Top isn't it? What people like you and me think of services and what those service providers think of their own. Then change, change, change....
They put a lovely spread on for lunch, and I duly stuffed myself, then we were asked if any of us wanted to go to the Town Hall in a few weeks to present the report to the people we interviewed. I said I would. Yep, yesterday I was lying on a sofa with burning eyelids, today I was feeling energised. Ah housing housing, rid me of the housing housing once and for all.....
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
