Wednesday, 1 February 2012

I am Velcro

Self realisation is an epiphany

I am Velcro
I allow things to STICK to me
I allow negative things to STICK to me
So fast they are stuck that I can't peel them off
So old
Men don't rape women
Women rape men
You're a hole between two legs

So new
Cancer cancer
Y Mama Tambien?
We have a duty to ourselves
That's what I wrote
I wrote that
ON HERE
before all this
We can change
We can all change
You Can Heal Your Life
In my bookcase Thursday night
Stick a positive on you
Right Here
Right Now
I am beautiful
I love
I am
LOVE

3 comments:

Frankie P said...

Sooooo.... i have just read your last 13 posts and bloody hell are you alright??

I totally agree that you do have to love yourself, if you can't love then at least like yourself. It can give you a positive outlook on things.. A bit like concentrating on the good things and not the negatives.. I have to do it every now and then to give myself a bit of a reality check... Believe me the grass is not always greener on the other side and some people are good at faking happiness..

Don't cut yourself up about the one night stand, take it from me its not worth it...

I do hope you are okay now and the antibiotics have kicked it. I had a UTI once and all i can say is fuck it hurt...

Take it easy on yourself won't you?

xx

Anonymous said...

Yes, Frankie that's what I was thinking about when I read the last 13 posts. Yes, the grass isn't always greener on teh other side...I really do think that some people are good at faking happiness since they feel that that's what others want to see. Don't think about cancer..An old friend of mine was diagnosed today as having terminal cancer...and given only 2 months to live. You've got the antibiotics...and they'll kick in soon. Yes, UTI's are horrid...I know.
Please, please stop beating yourself up over one night stand - its not worth it. xxx

Stigmum said...

Thank yuu so much both of you. Loads. I'm not beating myself up over the one night stand, promise, I'm not allowing myself as it was a positive experience. I have however, that Thursday night, the 'one night' of the label, beat myself about the past.
We all do it or it happens to all of us, the things we don't accept, rising up begging for acceptance, forgiveness.
I faked happiness on the outside on the Friday morning. How are you? Fine! Didn't feel it though, was scared. Scared shitless. I am ok today though.

I will write about the one stand, but probably tomorrow. It's in my notebook, I had to write about it this morning, only instinct is saying to write about, gosh I don't know...It's the last day I'm on antibiotics though. I've got handlebars in my gut that feel like they are braking when I think of negative things around that Thursday night, so best get it over with, then I can let it go!

Anon, I'm so sorry to hear about your friend. I'm just imagining light because I don't know what to say. If Stigmum has it though, I won't say. My blog can't become about that. It's about housing for goodness sake!! Homelessness! A life on benefits!! Fun stuff!!!

Take care though, both of you and thanks again so much for your comments xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx