"I have to close your file"

Matt the mental health support worker's just been round. "I have to close your file," he says. "It's all to do with statistics or something."

I didn't know what to say. The lawyers can't help me, the council support worker doesn't, now Matt my mental health man can't either.

He has to close all the files that have been open for two years. Mine has been open for three.
"Funny isn't it," I say. "That I had you for support for housing, and with your support I haven't been housed, so what do I do now?"

He had no answer for that.

The council will be pleased. No lawyers breathing down their neck, or mental health teams.

"The council doesn't think I need housing," I say. "They tell me I'm "intelligent", they tell me I have "resources". Intelligent people with resources can just be left to sink to the bottom of the pile."

Matt just listens. I like Matt. I always offer him a cup of tea when he comes and we chat about this and that. He went to Japan too. He worked for the same company as me only it went bust and he never got paid so had to come back.

"I want to think fuck it. I want to give up. I'm going to give up.....there's no point... oh there is a point isn't there, I live with a little person."

"I don't want to do this, it comes from the manager."

"Oh I know I know, I'm not about to shoot you the messenger.

Yep, so around Camden in the next few weeks, lots and lots of people with mental health issues are going to have their files closed. They're going to have support whipped away from them. I'm the only 'family' on Matt's book. He's got housebound individuals he's got to break the news to.

"They wonder why we all take drugs, why we all drink..."
"While they get their moats cleaned," he interrupts, we laugh. "And we still don't revolt, we just moan."

Incredulous really. Statistics, that's all we are. Statistics. Foucault's "docile bodies" (Discipline and Punish)