Wednesday, 9 November 2011

Shit, I've not done my JSA homework

Shit shit.
I have to prove I've been looking for work tomorrow or I won't get my benefits.
They won't buy 'spiritual crisis' will they? They won't buy 'hurtling at speed towards a mental breakdown'. You've still got to be available for work and you've still got to be looking even though it's hopeless.
Three jobs, all they asked for.
They'll give me so much shit if my notebook's blank. Rules n all.
I'm going to have to lie.

I remember being like this when I was being evicted. I knew I had to pack but I couldn't stop blogging.
Now, I know I have to job hunt but I cannot stop blogging
and of course, blogging knackere me out because it's so emotional and mental so I end up not sleeping, or not sleeping because I'm stressed and use that stress to write because no-one is alone in this world, with their experiences but they feel it.

Blogging saves my sanity
When I'm being forced out of my home
When I'm being forced to look for work.

Shit. I'll stop now, but I'm so tired, so so tired, all I want to do is sit down. Not think. Just be.

Shit, I don't know where I've put my Notebook


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