Wednesday, 25 January 2012

Dreams of Big Fish

I was at some kind of party, there were lots of people there chatting to one another but I wasn't talking to any of them, I was just, there.

As I walked through them to the back of the room, I aaw a window and through the window, the enormous eye of an enormous orange, shimmering, fish.

It was staring at me, with its big round eye, which I found quite unnerving. So I turned, and opened a door and found myself on the deck of a boat. There were people there. I turned, to make sure the fish had gone, I imagined it, but it had climbed through the window and was in the room, still staring at me, coming towards me, walking tall, so very big, on its tail fins.

I walked down the deck, very quickly, my heart pounding inside me, and could sense the Big Fish, I turned so I could see what I was running away from, and I saw the other people, none of whom were afraid of this Big Fish, and all of whom were at ease, touching it, smiling at it, as the Big Fish continued to stare at me.

Then I woke up, breathing hard and thought

I have no self esteem

Why am I so afraid when there's nothing to be afraid of?

I told my son about my 'wierd' dream.

"Why didn't you let it carry on mummy?"
"Because I woke up!"
"I had that dream two nights ago that you were dead."
I remembered, he'd come to me at around 10pm crying.
"I told you death means life in dreams didn't I? Maybe it means mummy's got a new life coming to her and my dream is telling me not to be afraid."
"Am I there mummy?"
"You are in me. You are always there even if I can't see you."

"Hug mamma, hug."

No comments: