Friday, 6 January 2012

I want to kill myself

The very fact that I am quite open about the desire to kill myself means that I will never do it.

I am open about it on this blog so you may understand the mindsets of people who aren't open about it, who never mention it, but of course, just one day do it.

I could have told the doctor this morning I wanted to kill myself but she would have ignored it as it's on record that I've said I want to but will never do it. (ha ha ha the sardonic chuckle)

The welfare system now, as it's been "reformed", does not manage people's problems as it did in the past, but just makes them worse.
(I've pinched that line from Public Enemies, the bbc drama about a probation officer and an ex offender who doesn't "comply" with his parole..says he was innocent of his put as 'high risk' and punished accordingly..ends tonight)

It makes me sad you know, the rise we will see in suicides. Crime is rising; muggings, burglaries, stabbings, that kind of thing.

A cheery thought though (for me admittedly). I read in this month's Soul and Spirit magazine an article by the Barefoot Doctor who said whether the world ends this year or not, we should live as though it is and make the most of it.

"So," he says. "if this really were your last year on Earth, what would you like to make happen that would truly fulfil you and make you feel as if you've had your money's worth this time around? Again, I'm not talking about external things, such as a car, house, relationship, baby, job, etc but, more importantly, the inner feelings that would make your entire system hum: a new resolve, discipline, enlightenment, self-confidence, creativity, passion, awareness and the enjoyment you wish to feel.......Remember, as the great writer Bernard Shaw once said, 'life isn't about finding yourself, it's about creating yourself, so think about what you'd like more of, and go for it."

Create yourself don't kill yourself Create yourself don't kill yourself Create yourself don't kill yourself Create...


Bonnie said...

Help for the hopeless is available at

Stigmum said...

Thanks so much. I also know from reading stata that someone came here putting 'I don't want to kill myself I just want to talk', so if others like that come here, you've left them a link to go to too. Many thanks!