Thursday 24 June 2010

My son's been referred to social workers

Dear Sue de Nim,

Re: Son de Nim

I am writing to inform you that Camden Family Services and Social Work have received a referral from your housing worker in relation to your child.

This matter has been discussed and it was felt that a referral to our services was necessary. On the basis of this information, a decision has been made to allocate this case for assessment by a Social Worker in accordance with our statutory duties under the Childrens Act 1989 and 2004 within a seven day period.

Your allocated Social Worker...will be contacting you within the next seven days to arrange a home visit. If you have any queries regarding the above information please contact [person] to discuss.

Yours sincerely

Duty Officer

As I bought my son home early from school to watch the footie yesterday, this was waiting for me.

I referred myself to social workers not long ago and got a response that they couldn't help me. Suddenly a member of the Council sees me cry in my cluttered flat and someone's going to come round and assess my son. Assess me.

If I cry, if I'm angry, is this how I am day to day with my child? Is he at risk, from me?

Lucky, Billie, Babyface, all their stories swim inside me and fuel my fear. Children on supervision orders, children taken away.

The Foca (he still hasn't texted me back as to when he'll pick up our son, who's been crying daily wanting to see him)

The director's name at the bottom of the letter: I interviewed her last year as part of the participatory appraisal research.

I don't know what to think or make of all this. Lucky and Billie are still in their one-beds awaiting transfer. Babyface is still in a hostel.

An idea came to me yesterday morning, to go to the press. Should I do this now or do I let all this social worker stuff play out?

The eviction is coming, I've been told and told again we won't get a council flat, we'll just go into further temporary accommodation.

I've had enough. Is the press the final fruit? I thought this yesterday morning. The hairdresser said I'd eaten all the fruit in the fruitbowl of my life.

I haven't. There's one more.

The Pomegranite.

The press won't help us. I know that. I'll lose my anonymity for no personal gain.

There's a chance, with social workers help, that my son's school will remain secure for him.

There's still no chance we'll get a council flat and the wheel will continue to turn, spitting us out every few years.

I wish I had a thousand followers today so you could tell me what to do.

I don't though, so I'll take my son to the Lido later and submerge my head under the water. It's not quite an octopus' garden but I might find some answers.

4 comments:

PippaD said...

I am going to tell you the same thing that I tell everyone who asks me for help at work. This is only a choice that you can make. You have all the information but this needs to be something that you are comfortable with in your head and in your heart.

Don't feel that you are being forced to make a choice that you aren't happy with.

Stigmum said...

Thankyou mamma. The social worker is not my choice and not for me but for my son. I can't fight with them. To turn down her offer to come round would have put a spotlight on my small family. When she comes, I can't get angry and sometimes I can't control myself. She might assess I'm not a 'fit' parent. Wish I could turn the tears on....
The press on the other hand, in a way that's not my choice either which makes the choice to go to them easier. The paper's been campaigning on housing for years, practically every week. They might not take the story because it isn't one. The most recent profile was a disabled woman who died (unclear if she killed herself but she left a note for the paper to investigate her death....that's what you've got to do nowadays to get your story heard and the government, they with power, are not hearing it)
Actually, I think you've helped me decide! I'm very frightened of the media but que sera sera. My ideas always frighten me. Let me start panicking if the paper takes it!! Thanks for your comment xxx

Jean said...

Oh god, this is such a rubbish situation to find yourself in. I'm so sorry, I wish I could help in some practical way, but other than wish you well and hope you make a decision that helps you, I don't know what else to do.

Stay strong. And tell that hairdresser that there's always a back-up bowl of fruit to be had. x

Stigmum said...

Thanks notsupermum, tis a rubbish situation, but whatever happens I hope it works out for my son. The hairdresser told me to find a different fruit bowl and that's where I got stuck and decided there was still a fruit left in the one I had! If eating that doesn't help, well I don't know, I feel like I've surrendered already...Thanks for your comment, it's a very practical way of helping!!! Take care and catch up with your blog and adventures soon xxx