One should feel no fear as they enter the portals of the Citizen's Advice Bureau. They are there to help and advise and well, what with funding cuts an' all, thank God they still are! A real person, face to face, with me!
I went in to ask them for advice about earning a little bit of money. I earnt a few pennies the other week and I'm set to earn a few more next month. This earning lark is a little bit "bitty" and not "secure" like the smooth running of the system I'm caught in demands.
They've invited me in for a "better off calculation" next week. A one off payment shouldn't make much difference to my situation, they said, but a second payment...well that adds to the complexity of a subject already very complex. I tell you, so tempted not to deal with it and give all the cash to charidee. Still, if I told my shorthand tutor to take my cash and "start as you mean to go on", well I've got to bite the bullet too...
I told the woman who was helping me I received my tax credit form yesterday and should I send it off straight away? She said I should call Tax Aid, which I will do. They only offer telephone advice, she said, but may invite me in depending on the complexity of my case. She also suggested it might be in my best interests to go "self employed" for Child Tax Credit purposes, even though my earning power may well be short-lived.
Oooh, all this activity in this Stigmum's world! The woman said it was all "very exciting". It may well be it was that excitement which prompted that familiar pressure in my chest that demands a few drops of Rescue Remedy as I stood outside with everyone else. I have ideas and well, not to put too fine a point on them, the fear and the desire of their fruition scare me witless!
The housing meeting tonight. Will I be too scared to raise my voice? Maybe, maybe...
Stigmum, you're coming with me ok?