Oh how many parents have heard that battle cry from their children? Millions I don't doubt!
This morning though, I finally understood why my son says it (says it alot you see). He wants to stay home with me. In the past he's asked that I home school him and well, it's a tough job innit, educating kids, Sunday School's enough for me!
I've told him school's better than me though because his mates are there. He doesn't care, he tells me. I tell him in return that all work and no play is no fun at all and with me I'd make him work, work, work!
Did the trick, no more asking for home schooling! Still says he doesn't want to go though, as I've just mentioned.
So this morning, after breakfast, he says: "I'm going back to bed. I don't want to go to school today."
And I say: "OK then." Oh the wonder of an exhausted me! In the past I've said: "You've got to." In answer to the "why?" I've said it's "The Law". If that doesn't budge him I slowly lose my rag and have told him in the past that mother's get slung into jail if the kids play truant.
"I'll put your school clothes on my bed and run my bath. You can dressed now, or after I've had the bath."
"I told you, I'm not going to school today."
"You've got to."
"Well, [your class teacher] told me off the other day because I was late picking you up. Imagine you don't go in, I could get into real trouble, I could go to prison!"
"She told you off?"
"Yeah!" (which she didn't really. I was late again on Monday and she asked me if I could speak to him because he gets so anxious when I'm not there. I told you, didn't I, about his meltdown at assembly the other week when I was just five minutes late....My son loves his teacher. He was scared of her before during the summer holidays because she's very firm with the kids but now, now I think he'd do anything for her!)
My son laughed and I went into the bathroom. Five minutes later he came in wearing his trousers. "Could you really go to prison mummy?"
Now I don't agree with this policy AT ALL of flinging parents into prison because their kids run riot. Their children's behaviour, I believe, isn't always within their control.
I've heard some mums tell their children: "Wait until I tell your father." My own mother did this, it worked most of the time. The threat of the father is often enough, much to the dismay of thousands of mothers across the land.
I am a single mother.
The State is my symbolic husband. It made up this silly send the parents to prison policy which hopefully is never enforced these days. (Is it still a policy even? See, I don't even know!)
I'll let my son believe it for now though.
I'd be seriously out of pocket if I didn't. I bribe him, you see, to get him to go to church.
I never liked going as a kid either and my mum always gave us 10p afterwards to buy sweets. My son gets a pack of Match Attax for 50p. Same same given the years.
My son is not my carer.
My boy is not my buoy.
I am big enough and ugly enough to look after myself. I've told him that before.
"You're not ugly mummy, you're really pretty."
My son, my sun!