The Master asked me how my meeting went. I struggled to remember what meeting he meant and said: "Oh good, good! I wrote to Shapps yesterday, emailed a newspaper asking them if they'd publish it if he didn't answer me."
"Great, just make sure you work it to your advantage."
I went to help the Mistresses put out the mats and wondered, how do I do that. I don't fecking know!
I went back to the Master and asked him.
"What's your priority?" he asked.
"Protecting my son. Protecting him from exposure."
He looked me in that calm, serene way and said:
"What's more important to you? Finding a secure place to raise your son or helping the borough?"
"Helping the borough."
His eyes widened.
"You need to take a look at your priorities."
My eyes pricked. So familiar now, spikes of guilt, guilt, guilt.
Several tears are flowing down the river, several tears are running to the sea, if one day they reach some distant waters you will know they're sent with pain from me (Stiggers with me messing up a Goombay Dance Band song)
Don't cry.. Don't cry....
I went to help the Mistresses hang the punching bags.
Once more, I went over to the Zen Master.
"What I really really want is a two bedroom flat with a garden in (The Village Up The Road)."
"Good. Yes. Put that out to the Universe. It's why you're stuck, because you're not putting that out to the Universe. Your focus is always on something else, it's why you're not getting what you want."
"I just failed to get a secure place. I can't be thinking about that right now."
"Get up! You fall off the horse, you get back on it! You don't give up!"
I was a bit shaky after that so good job he partnered with Mistress La Francaise so I could go with Mistress Psychic.
When we started punching the bags, each one of us on our own, biff, baff, biff, baff, the ipod started playing
"Take the ribbon from your hair," biff, baff, biff, baff
"shake it loose and let it fall..." biff, baff, biff, baff,
"lay it soft against my skin" biff baff biff baff
"like the shadows on the wall" biff baff biff baff
"help me make it through the night," biff baff baff baff baff baff
"I don't care who's right or wrong, " baff baff baff biff
"I don't try to understand,," biff biff baff baff
"let the devil take tomorrow," baff baff baff baff baff
"Lord tonight I need a friend"
I felt much better after that BIFF BAFF BIFF BAFF BOOOOOOOOF!