A couple of weeks ago while I was doing the Dream Job I had a dream.
I was walking along an edge and next to me at head level moving along at my pace was a noose.
I looked at it, felt no desire to grab it and shove my head in it and thought "No."
Then I woke up.
It was a good dream. Ordinarily I happily put my head in the noose then see my son and pull my head out again.
I told the girl at the seminar about it. Crazy how you can go so deep into a conversation with someone within minutes of meeting them.
"I'm pr0-choice," I told her, smiling. "Babies who aren't here yet I'm pro-choice but for those of us who are here I am pro-life. I won't kill myself.
My suicide dreams are always nooses.
On the news last night we were told 2000 people at the BBC are going to be made redundant. Two million unemployed and all us parents being shifted to sign on every two weeks for jobs that are scarce or non-existant. "It's so demeaning," said Mistress Ha Ha this morning. I heard another woman in (mum's gone to) Iceland saying to the cashier: "I've been trying to work on my cv and it's so hard I've given up."
Don't give up.
Don't hang yourselves those of you who feel you can't go on
Take each moment at a time
Hold your hand