Monday, 10 October 2011

Where else have I got to go?

A lovely day Saturday. I kept bumping into people I've known in the past.

One of them was Mr Grey from Papier Mache Towers. He who told me to write a letter of appeal which had no effect (but he knows I was raped in the past from that letter and I didn't like that once he knew)

Anyway, as you know, he nor anyone else had any power to stop my eviction or help me into a secure council flat.

"How are you?" he says to me as I run into him on the High Street. "Good!" (I was feeling good, I wanted to buy a see through shirt to go with a skirt I've never worn and found one in Help the Aged for £2.99!) Then of course I remembered how he knew me and told him that other than that things were shit..Expensive rent, fired from jobs, signing on to jobseekers..

"So I've decided to follow a spiritual path!"

He takes a step back as he absorbs this information and appears lost for words.

"Well where else have I got to go? I've been to shrinks, if I go again they won't help and they'll just tell me to bog off or take drugs. It's suicide dreams or spirituality. I'm gonna give it a go!"

He smiled at that. We chatted a bit more then he shook my hand when it was the moment to go, which was, well, strange because I've never shaken his hand before!

I realised later as well that I became spiritual years and years ago after trying and failing to become an athiest. Maybe I'm just coming out now. I don't know, because I came out to my followers here a couple of years ago I think, embarrassed to tell you all that I pray.

Last night I had a dream that a rabid dog was threatening to attack me. Saliva was dripping off its fangs, it looked really menacing, its eyes boring into me and I woke up really scared.

See, it's spirituality or shit like that.

What have I got to lose?

What have you for that matter?

It is good that we have free will and can choose isn't it

With God that is

Not the fecking State....

I'll leave it there!

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