Tuesday, 17 May 2011

How we hide from people

Bumped into my son's friend G's dad in the coffee shop.

"How are you?" he says, because it's been a while.
"Good! You?"

He tells me he's got jet lag from a work trip, his wife's gone off on a mini break with a girlfriend for three days so he's left looking after the two boys. I don't need to tell you about this family but a challenge is what I will say.

"How about you, what are you up to?" he asks

Oh, I've got a meeting with our sons' teacher this afternoon because Ugly's boy's been strangling mine and to tell the truth, I'm not looking forward to it one little bit because I didn't tell you did I...

No, I didn't say that. Told him about the voluntary work, pub work, oh and asked him if he'd seen the Street programme last night and he had, from the corner of his eye while tidying up after the boys had gone to bed. I didn't tell him what was really on my mind at all.

We hide from what we think sometimes don't we

I don't really hide on here because it is my hiding place.

So it's already a bit wierd I've joined Twitter!

That doesn't feel like a hiding place (bizarrely, given its millions of users)

Will it affect what I write on here?

What do I say on there?

It's like two worlds coming together

And I converge onto them

Still hiding

because I don't exist

but not hiding at the same time, because I do

How funny/wierd/strange/great/mad

I'll let you know how I get on



Here and there?

Time for lunch methinks!


Frankie P said...

Speaking of hiding, no one apart from about 5 people know i blog or am on twitter. Even my friends that i consider very close friends don't know.. Why? Don't know perhaps i am just enjoying being me and not having to hide things and being able to say what i want.. Hmm perhaps i need to blog about that x

Stigmum said...

Yes, crikey, one of the perks just being yourself! I was losing friends talking about housing, which I was obsessed with, so I put my feelings here so I could learn to talk about different things to them and maybe not lose more! Then, thinking of the people who'd helped me with my thesis, ended up pouring all manner of shite out. Very cathartic! I do recommend it!
Part of me wants to tell friends now because I'm not as depressed as that oh so fearful eviction, it's also the reason I want to stop blogging and put all of it behind me because housing has tremendous power to depress me.
I still hang on to the belief there's value in here because I'm not alone. I could tell friends 'what's past is past' and I'm not so paranoid or this that and the other but because there are still really personal things on here in many ways I prefer the non judgement of the people who follow me (who all deserve medals must say!). It might not be many people, I've lost and I've gained but that's never what I've been in it for and just feel lucky to have who I do!
Having said that, I told the friends I saw at the weekend that I wrote 'a secret blog' and they didn't ask for the link!
I look forward to your blog about it all!!

Jennysmith said...

Yeah. I know families like that. Different world.

My mate's always saying we should go off for one of those weekends in Italy!

What with? I mean, Bless her and everything......

Hope you sort out that dreadful child. The heartbreak I went through over that sort of thing with the kids....

Stigmum said...

'Tis bloody heartbreaking isn't it, when our kids are going through it, so I'm glad I'm dealing with it, once and for all, so bloody hope so once and for all...
D'you know what? That family? The wife has gone on her mini break to.... italy!!!!
Oh Jen, cobble the funds, head to Rome! Wouldn't it be loverly?!!
Ah, different worlds indeed, one can dream...! xxx