Tuesday 3 May 2011

Pursued by Shadows

Two nights ago, not last night thank goodness I dreamt I was being chased.
I don't know by who or by what but the seizure in my chest told me I was terrified.
I dived under a stationary car as whatever encircled it, and encircled it and then I woke up.

I consulted google to find out what it meant (though pretty self explanatory really)

Chase dreams are one of several common dream themes, stemming from feelings of anxiety in your waking life...Your actions in the dream parallel how you would respond to pressure and cope with fears, stress or various situations in your waking life. Instead of confronting the situation, your dream indicates that you have a tendency to run away and avoid the issue. Ask yourself who is chasing you, so that you can gain a better understanding and insight on the source of your fears and anxieties.

The pursuer or attacker who is chasing you in your dream may also represent an aspect of yourself. Your own feelings of anger, jealousy, fear, and possibly love, can manifest itself as the threatening figure. Or the shadowy figure can symbolize the rejected characteristics of your Self. You may be projecting these feelings onto the unknown chaser. Next time you have a dream of being chased, turn around and confront your pursuer. Ask them why they are chasing you. What are you trying to run from?
(www.dreammoods.com)

I was too scared to confront my pursuer. Is it because I'm so unwilling to confront my life?

I have to go to the Housing Benefits office and tell them my rent's been increased. I don't want to do this.

I have to send the electricity company evidence of all my benefits. It's not enough that I just fill the form stating what I get a week, I have to find and photocopy proof of child tax credits, child benefits, housing and income support and goodness knows what else.

Like vultures onto your life, picking at all flesh.

Perhaps I'm just tired. Supersonically tired of this aspect of my life and there's nothing I can do except put one foot infront of the other and do what I have to do.

Any depressed person can tell you that this is sometimes very hard; life can seem exceptionally heavy at times.

I will confront my pursuer next time.

It's only a dream afterall, isn't it?

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