Friday, 20 May 2011

Views on Motherhood

This is where I pinch the comment I left on Frankie P's excellent post about the struggle we sometimes face as a mother. I read it after posting on Twitter that there were some mum jobs I didn't like. I didn't want to cook yesterday evening and I wish I could outsource tidying. So a timely post to know I'm not alone:

My cousin (wks part-time) said last I saw her, feeling really guilty: "You know, I love my daughter, I just hate being a mother." I found it so refreshing! I said "That's alright, I love my son and I love being a mother, I just hate some of the jobs.." We chinked glasses and gulped down the nectar. You a bad mother/person for saying you feel something missing? Not bloody likely! I love being a SAHM even though society doesn't see me as one or want me to be one and I do an utter shite job of it to be honest and I'm sure I wouldn't love it so much if I didn't (heh heh) blog because it's hard and while he's at school, repetitive but if I worked (at another job), then I'd miss stuff like his school assembly.
Perhaps, feeling like something is missing, is normal.
Dare I say that (gulp)?

Perhaps I should add that the 'something missing' feeling does pass, comes and goes! The beauty of emotions are their transcience. Right now I don't feel I'm missing anything, maybe because wider society doesn't think I should have what I do.
I'm supremely aware of how lucky I am to be a stay at home mother
When I was with the Foca I felt supremely lucky to have a job I loved separate to the maternal domestic one.

It's good to read raw open posts like Frankie's. Makes you question stuff ya know? Reminds you that anything you're feeling is felt by someone else, on some level, at some point.

Thanks Frankie P!


Frankie P said...

thanks, nice to hear that it does go and that i am not the only one that feels like this..

Stigmum said...

Yeah! Keep on going how you do! (I told my sis I found your blog and she should read it! She's got 2, got made redundant, is at home, will identify with you, more probably than she does with me, and that post will make her feel better!!)