Monday, 16 May 2011

Why can't I defend my child?

I have to write 'why can't I defend my child?' because I can, of course I can, it's just not easy.

My son is being strangled by a boy at school.

He has asked this boy to stop, several times my son tells me, but the boy doesn't and my son is getting increasingly upset. Didn't want to go to school this morning, I said it would be fine. Well, you do don't you....

A playground teacher saw the boy strangling my son, asked him why he was doing it and was told that my son had pushed him. So my son got told off. My son didn't tell the teacher it was in retaliation, my son told me. Why isn't my son defending himself? I asked him that, he had no answer.

I told my son to talk to his own teacher. He's too afraid. He's asked me to do it.

Easy you might think, and believe me, I do admonish myself with the time it's taking me but fuck, fuck fuck fuck.

The boy in question is Ugly's son.

Ugly who told tales on my boy and got him a day's detention.

The strangling has been going on since the incident in the park just before Easter.
Ugly's son witnessed his mother telling off my boy and getting clean away with the pain he was inflicting on my son (I alluded to this in a post, I failed to step up for my son when that happened that day)

I cannot talk to Ugly so rule that out straight away

It has been difficult for me to approach the teacher for three reasons.

1. The boys are friends..part of a bigger group of another three boys.

2. I made a right rumpus about my son getting a day's detention on a parent's hearsay so it's fair to say I'm not parent of the month. I told her that Ugly had denied the accusations she'd made at the parents evening and teacher said "I understand, history, I understand". Will she brush this off?

3. My son is always getting told off by his teacher and I don't want to make things worse for the little lad.(A recent incident was after the holidays when the teacher told the children that R's mother had cancer and my son said "I got a new duck" and the teacher said "Get out of the classroom!" which I thought was a bit harsh, all things considered....)

You know, fuck it, I should just make an appointment with her. I know these boys rough play all the time and I have grilled my son sufficiently on that these past two weeks to make sure the strangling is really separate from all that.

I wasn't going to blog about this but my monday has started off so badly that I may aswell pour all my shit out. Because it is shit.

Shit shit shit.

Still, ironically I have a meeting this afternoon, I'm on the Committee for Safeguarding Children.

Oh ha ha ha. oh ha ha ha ha ha ha.

I can safeguard mine.



Frankie P said...

You really should speak to the teacher, at the end of the day its bullying, not rough play if your sone is getting upset above it..

Stigmum said...

I've booked an appointment this afternoon. I'm not looking forward to it....Social services meeting a while ago I was told teacher apparently said I cause my son's anxiety by 'blowing things out of proportion' so I may have to address this too as I explain (hope not argue) the fine line between rough play and bullying, just as you mention. Aargh!

Sarahmumof3 said...

oh dear :( good luck with the school meeting :( be strong, parenting isn't easy, but being a child isn't either, hope you can muddle your way through and the teacher actually takes your concerns on board, not always the case tho :(

Stigmum said...

Why I'm worried! But I'll take lots of deep breaths before hand, put my child in my vision and do my very best for him. Will it end there? One always hopes....!