Sunday 13 September 2009

Note to self

You will be OK. It will work out fine. Yes it is Groundhog Day but you have tools you can work with. Think of it as a game where you have the upper hand for you know what your opponent is going to do.

Your mental health is important. You may not be crying this time, but do not be afraid to seek help. What you are doing is protecting your sanity because you know the effect that fighting a big organisation has on you.

By nature you do not like confrontation but in life it is sometimes necessary to be confrontational. Do you want history to keep repeating itself? You are doing this for your son. That is good, that is brave. You need to learn to do it for yourself too, confront what you do not like.

This journey is unpleasant, you know that, but it will end. You have to believe that. You must focus. Eat. Go to bed early. Accept that nightmares may come but as you lay your head on your pillow ask your guardian angel to help you sleep. Breathe. Picture your son. He is beauty, he is truth.

When all this is over you will know the lessons you are learning. Now you must focus.

Know yourself. Know you are strong.

I wrote this yesterday on Hampstead Heath. If I can write myself into a black hole, I can write myself out again.

No comments: