Beyond proud! I could burst!!

I walk out of the regular side entrance of my son's school and am walking down the road towards the Heath on my way to Bazza's Boot Camp, when I see his classroom assistant coming up the road in the opposite direction, looking over peoples faces clearly in some kind of panic.

"Hiya," I say being friendly about to ask if she's looking for someone.
"Oh I'm so glad I've caught you, I thought you'd gone!"
"Who me?" I say looking around, wondering, well wondering...
"Your son's playing Joseph in the Nativity this afternoon!"
"My son? Really? No! Really, oh my God!!" I feel my whole face wake up! My eyes ping open, my mouth breaks into the biggest smile!
"Yes! Joseph's called in sick so your son's been pulled in at the last minute so come along at 2 and bring a camera!"
"Oh my God that's brilliant! Oooooooh! Yes, I will, I will! I'll buy a throwaway one...Oh that's so great!" And I bounce up the road, smiling my head off singing Go Go Go Joseph even though that's not the production!

Yesterday, chatting to T's mum, she tells me her daughter's playing Mary. "Is she? That's great!" I'd said. "My son's in the choir I think. It's next Thursday isn't it?"
"No! It's tomorrow!"
"Oh God really? Shit, thanks for telling me!"

To tell you I did not expect this is the understatement of the entire year. Last Christmas he was Angel Gabriel. He was beautiful in his big wings, absolutely beautiful! Can't get better than this I'd thought! Some mums said they hoped their son's would be shepherds or kings this year, but my son had had his moment. I didn't hope for anything.

When he told me he was in the choir and was disappointed because his best buddies, A and K, were shepherds, I reminded him he had been Angel Gabriel and told him the choir was 'cool'. Then quite literally forgot about everything until T's mum's reminder.

Oh my God!! Joseph!!

I got there early hoping to sit in the front. Parents were there already, but they hadn't finished setting out the chairs closest to the stage!! I was like a little mad thing, still flying high: "I want to sit in the front, I want to sit in the front!"

The music teacher asked that the front centre aisle seat be reserved for him. "Can I sit next to you?! Can I 'save it' for you?!"

Someone said: "You can be teacher's pet!" and I laughed. "Yes!" I'd be just about anything for a front row seat with my son playing Joseph! Last year I thought I'd got there early but many, many had got there earlier. I had a good view, but today I wanted no obstruction! I really hoped for that!

My son's class walked in, there he was in his little costume of green and brown cloth! His teacher spied me and said that A had gotten a high temperature, so they'd asked L who didn't want to do it, so they asked my boy who'd said yes but not to expect anything as he'd only had today to learn his lines! Expect anything? Expect anything???!!!!

He was amazing! They were all amazing! But oh, seeing him there on the stage, with 'Mary' looking angelic in blue when her mother would describe her as anything but, and his little friend G dressed up as a donkey, I felt really quite choked and kept giggling so thank goodness it was a funny show.

They don't do the 'traditional' nativity at my son's school with old favourites like 'Little Donkey' and 'Oh Christmas Tree' which in Reception I'd briefly thought was a bit of a shame (oh our own pasts hey?) They do a modern take on the traditional theme and it's always a blast.

Today's Nativity was called "Are we there yet?" The kids deliver comic lines and it's full of great foot tapping songs!

So many of his classmates up there putting in sterling performances. I was overwhelmed! I was mesmerised! My eye constantly drawn back to that beautiful, beautiful boy, walking, or standing, or sitting with his Mary and their Donkey!

Five years ago, when the Church evicted us, I sent Frank Dobson letters asking for help. "We are not the Madonna and Child my son and I," I'd written. "We're being asked to leave our Inn the week before Christmas...I have no Joseph to carry my fear. "

I remembered this today. I still have no "Joseph" but I have my son and he's been carrying me for six years, little does he know it, keeping my head above the water, making me laugh whenever I've felt or I'm feeling down.

I could not have asked, I could not have prayed for my son to be Joseph. Not once did it ever cross my mind.

Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!!!!!

Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you for him!!!!!!!!!