I missed the last appointment because I forgot about it, just like I forgot my doctor's appointment which wasn't last week but tomorrow which I've changed so I can go to Bazza's Boot Camp which I've written down. I used to credit my short term memory but now, if I don't write things down....
What timing though ey? She reminds me of what we talked about the last time, we still have to figure out exactly what I need.
Let's talk about sex baby
Let's talk about me me me
Let's talk about all the good things
And the bad things
Done to me
Let's talk about sex (Stigmum rocking with Salt 'n' Pepa while I pick at my fingernails really embarrassed then fly into a fury at the mere mention of the Foca's email I won't look at)
I need something long term, she says, because it all needs "careful unpicking." I don't want long term, I want to be free! I want to be free now!
She recognises I've had bad experiences with shrinks in the past, says perhaps Women and Health will be able to offer me something.
She says I would have to pay for that, maybe just £5. Would I consider it?
£5. Is it worth it? It will be hard and painful and there's no promise of resolution.
Am I worth it? I mean this is something potentially 'good'.
Boundaries.. I'm chained by my own fecking boundaries... Do I want to remain bound forever?
The final frontier.. mySelf.. quite funny really.
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