Nutshells, in a nutshell

I intended to write all these nutshells last night having quickly scripted drafts with a knackered mind in the cccccold afternnnnoon.

Stigmum and I battled. I wanted to cry I so didn't want to do this. "Get it over with, get it over with." "It's so cold, I'm so tired." "Do it in your sleep, you've done it before."

Fate intervened. I run into Lucky going to collect my boy from after school club, I tell her the landlady's lent me a heater but it doesn't work. "Ask the school if they've got one," she says. "Good idea! I never thought of that!"

It was late at the school. A heater that had been there "15 minutes ago" had gone. While they told me to wait, they would find one, Artistic mum came to collect her boys, and to cut a story short, suggested we stay at hers; it was warm, there was hot water.

I thought of the bbbbitttter cccccold, grateful I wasn't a ppppensioner and anyway, she saved my sorry arse.

I went to sleep on her sofa at 8.45.

"What shall we talk about mummy?!" said my excited son, whose tooth had fallen out that day.

"Nothing, it's time to sleep!"

I woke up in the dead of night. It said midnight on my phone. On and off for hours, Stigmum sang with Harry Nilsson, in her own way as usual:

Everybody's talkin' at me
I can't hear a word they're sayin'
Only the echoes of my mind

I wanna be where the sun keeps shinin'
Thru the pourin' rain
Where the weather suits my soul

I was extremely grateful that it was warm, that I wasn't in my "it's not your home, it's somewhere you rent." I was grateful I could stop the cacaphony in mind by being the 'tooth fairy'.

So yeah, the nutshells you've just read (or are reading as you follow me write ha ha ha!) are just my notes of this recent experience, not of a wider picture. I've not taken pains over it, I have no energy, it's taken pain from me.

As with blogspot, what is past is past. If I don't edit, which I don't want to, I can always post a change of mind later.

Right stiggers, here fecking goes, let's get it over with.....