Too many ironies

A Christmas Carol is a very good film. "Too wordy" I heard someone say the other day, but it's a wordy book. It's not sad but will you cry like I did?

Carols at Trafalgar Square. The tree is beautiful, really so very beautiful. 80 years old my son told me. His teacher told him. Lots of protest groups there. The choir was introduced by "The London City Mission" which works with homeless people. Invited the crowd for tea, coffee, mince pies and mulled wine! I wanted to go....

Jab was with me with little T. Said she'd join us at the film at the (excellent, amateur) pantomime last night. I heard about Trafalgar on Heart FM this morning, before the postman came (we've used a toy my son won at the Winter Fair as our new doorbell!).

After "Silent Night" Jab said the kids needed feeding. I didn't want to leave but not for her, my son would have gone hungry. Sing, sing a song....Hark the Herald Angels Sing, anything, anything, please.....

I drank wine like water. I'm so thirsty, so so thirsty.

I can't spill my fear on here. I can't. I have to focus.

My little boy is sleeping now. He caught me crying earlier and cried too seeing me crying. "Oh don't cry sweetie. Mummy crying is good! Better than being angry at the water bottle isn't it, better than being angry at the rice and lentils? It's just a letter."

He's very frightened. Have I frightened him? I tell him there's "nothing to be afraid of", "everything's fine". Mummy will "sort it". You have to lie when you are a parent. (I don't like that bit of it to be honest with you.)

I can't spill my fear on here. I can't. I have to focus.

I'd wish you merry Christmas, but it's not really until the week after next so I'll save it. But if I forget... Merry Christmas!