That thought came when I was in the bloomin' shower. I hadn't had a wash the day before; the water splashing on my face was so cleansing.
"On the third day she rose again!"
It came out of nowhere and fear gripped me.
"It's not the third day," I say to Stiggers.
"Yes it is," she er, jokes. "Thursday, Friday, Saturday!"
"Thursday night, Friday night, technically two."
"Friday, Saturday, Sunday!"
"Bugger off, I'm not in the mood." The motherboard nonetheless tries to locate the history.
Eight points to make here.
1. Years ago my son's grandmother rang to wish me a happy birthday. "You're the age Jesus was when he died," she'd said. I'd replied: "Thirty Free" and in my head, because I didn't want to die 'and he rose again'. She is like my mother, they both have great faith and both say things that I consider a bit Alec Baldwin barmy sometimes, but I know where they're coming from. Of course I do, I have faith too. I want to 'rise again'; all people who hit a low point do.
2. I went a bit loopy when the Church evicted me. I thought that people might think that I was the Second Coming! It wasn't long before I laughed at myself though, and wrote down the experience.
3. Yesterday I asked the ed of the rag if he was bought up within any religion. I told him I would be introducing a new 'character' to the blog soon. "A trinity," I told him with fear in my heart. I'm so glad he laughed. I left him with the 'Paranoia' chapter of My Book That Will Never Be Published. That and the 'Dreams' one where I recount my history in journalism and end it saying "I am not an informer." Scared that my book is a prophecy, I ask him what's going to happen to that name in his comment. He's not to know is he? That's my fear again though; of going loopy again. This time though, being misunderstood.
4. In Andrew Davidson's book, The Gargoyle, his protagonist says that religious trauma when you are in your teens can have detrimental effects later on. Now, I'm not schizophrenic. Geez, if I am then the mental health services certainly missed that! But no, I'm not, The 'voices' I hear are only my own. I travelled alone through Asia didn't I? Back then I could hear it like I can now. We all have an inner voice. Good book by the way, there's alot of truth in fiction!
5. I am not the Second Coming!In his book, The Power of Now, Eckhart Tolle says the Second Coming is change of universal consciousness. I got both books down last night to search for the relevant paragraphs. Absolutely shattered, I told myself to go to bed. Rereading some of Tolle though, it's sounds quite nice, a change of consciousness, and nothing to be afraid of.
6. My 'mini breakdown' was actually a 'mini breakthrough'. People understand the word breakdown better though, so depending on who I'm talking to, I'll use one or the other.
7. In MBTWNBP I write, and also on here I have written:
A stigmum found a nut in the deep dark wood
Can't go over it, can't go under it
Oh no, I'm going to have to go through it!
I understood that fully last night. My breakthrough has made so many things make sense!
8. I was initially only going to make three points! Ah well!